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#51 18/9/09 14:31

Samer
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

mmm ... well i was thinking maybe a machine that he made that's is able to absorb the toxins back into a crysallis ... or maybe that is operated by a chrysallis ..

but feel free to alter it as Leus said ...also u guys are better than me in setting the environment and scenes so if u felt the confrontation with mukade can be improved feel free to do so smile


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#52 18/9/09 16:28

Lithium
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

But every thing has a con. Ex: "the machine ... Kerr mentioned it ... " konoko said
"it makes instant cheeseburgers"
yea theres an example where a joint story can sidetrack and mess up. But yes a joint story is awesome

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#53 18/9/09 18:56

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Well as long as nobody makes an asshole move like that we're good.  wink  Just kidding; if it makes instant cheeseburgers, Konoko and company just have to chow down.   tongue


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#54 18/9/09 19:02

Samer
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

lol tongue ... even chrysallis symbiotes need to eat hmm

who's going to write the next part btw ?


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#55 20/9/09 0:48

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

i will!

EDIT: OH SNAP!!!!!!!!!! Sorry guys i finished the story but then i somehow logged out and they said i dident hav permission to enter! OMG ALL MY  EFFORT WASTED!

Last edited by Stevinlewis (20/9/09 1:27)

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#56 20/9/09 1:55

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

"Kerr said the machine is an advanced technology which he had been working on for five years. He said it is still a prototype but its near to completion."."No i worked on that thing!" interrupted Mukade.

  "Alright shut up, do you know where this machine is?"Asked Griffin."Yes its under this warehouse. Kerr used to work under this facility by himself before he got employed come follow me!"Konoko said.

  They ran across the warehouse and finally found a door that says "restricted area". A computerised voice emitted from a hidden speaker and said "Self verification please" and a plate-like thing emerged from behind the pillar. She put her hand on it and it said "Human identified. Welcome back Konoko. How are you?" . "How come u can do that? Dosen't it only allow Kerr to enter?"Asked Mukade. "Wow i didn't think thatll work. Im not so sure but follow me." They ran down a spiralling staircase and finally reached the bottom floor. And right before them is a huge machine that is heavily rusted and very very dusty.

  "That is the machine"Konoko said. "Kerr used to tell me stories about it. He said this will save you some day but it was up to me to find out how to use it. he couldn't tell me back then cause alot of "people" were paying attention to our conversation. Hidden microphones and video camera were all around us wherever we were. I didn't knew back then but the BGI was already listening to us. Kerr knew but he couldn't say it just there and then."

  "Alright how do we work this thing?" Asked Griffin. "Well, just stand back ill do everything.". She taps on the keyboard as messages and messages appear on the screen. And then it sparkled to life! "But how come its here? I thought the BGI took them." Asked the confused Mukade. "Not all of them dumb head. He shifted this into his(kerr) lab by using ur "blink" technology here where he wired them all over his lab. The one u were doing only helped to return the toxin level to normal status. HIS machine was designed to kill all mutants and disintegrate the toxins." Explained Konoko.

  She rushed past the two guys and stand in front of the door."Over here we have the weapons lab where one section is still in experiments while the other is already completed and ready for use. Follow me."Konoko said. She pushed past the door and said "This is it. Feel free to take any weapons. They hav infinite bullets so don't worry. Just make sure u polish and shine them before putting them back onto the shelves." Said Konoko jokingly. "Cool" Said one of them. "Im gonna check on things see which weapon suits you best." Said konoko.

  "Wow these guns are so awsome I wonder what this button does" Said the curious Mukade. Blam! A loud siren was activated that it echoed through the whole underground base. "What heppened!" Said Mai, rushing into the room. "Nothing I figured out how this weapon works" Said Mukade with a little grin at the side of his cheeks.

  Suddenly, a blast was heard and the door was flug into the air like a rag doll and about 50 men with BGI uniforms rushed into the underground base. One of them, with super high jumping skills, landed about one metre away from Mai. Konoko took a sniper rifle  and she took aim on one BGI guy

Last edited by Stevinlewis (21/10/09 2:02)

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#57 20/9/09 2:01

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Yeah its abit long and and hard to read. Sorry i dont know pagraphs tongue

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#58 20/9/09 7:46

Samer
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

I have a feeling u're a teenager ^_^ ?

I liked the comedy u added but little bit of notes :

one thing i would change tongue  is make them find the secret place u talked about by accident ... it doesn't make much sense why konoko didn't mention it earlier when they needed weapons or how she knows so much about the machine ... and mukade has been "tamed" way too easily tongue

I did like the ideas u said the secret lab and the machine that can destroy mutants and BGI I'll try to expand that in my writing ^_^ and yeah, keep in mind that we made mukade an old friend of her father when she was a baby.

I'm writing the next part hope u like it and continue to contribute

Last edited by Samer (20/9/09 13:41)


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#59 20/9/09 8:52

Samer
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Konoko took a sniper rifle  and she took aim on one BGI guy........ and pulled the trigger !
to her surprise the bullet bounced of his chest ... he was wearing some strange type of armor ...

"Take them down all of them" the lady which they met in the vault  before ordered

"They're invincible !" Griffin yelled

"Not really mukade said as he teleported to the back of an agent lifted him up and threw him on the head ... "

"Konoko yelled we are outnumbered" "retreat to the room now   !

"we can take them mukade said still teleporting and kicking !

"Surrender Mai there's no point in prolonging this !" the lady said now coming into their vision
she was a beautiful woman dressed in light armor and carrying a small strange looking gun .

"BACK INTO THE ROOM NOW !!" konoko yelled to her comrades ! 

Griffin was cornered an a BGI aimed a mercury bow which shot like a blackadder at him ...
the instant the agent pulled the trigger mukade teleported held griffin and teleported him into the room just in the nick of time ...

Konoko ran into the room and closed the heavy door behind her !  This won't hold them for long she said ... as she ran to the computer ... there has to be something to help us here !

"Stress level increase ... unfamiliar weapon shots ... unauthorized attempts to enter " the computer said in a familiar tone !

"It can't be" Griffin said !  while konoko was too teary eyed and just whispered : "Shinitama is that u ? "   

the computer answered "not quite" "Shinitama beta 2 actually, Kerr built me into this lab to protect his work, he said to help u Mai Hasegawa if u needed my help"

"We do need ur help... we're trapped !"

"Engaging advanced security mode" shinitama 2 said .. as a heavy barrier came down to support the door ... and laser beams thru wholes in the ground came up behind it ...

"Door bullet shield activated "
"Door impact shield activated"

"they won't be coming in any time soon" shinitama 2 said

"Thank u !" konoko said

"so now we're locked in here for how long ?"  mukade interrupted

"Shinitma is it possible to teleport the machine somewhere else ?"

"I'm afraid not ... the teleporter has been damaged ... I can only teleport smaller objects ... like u 3 "

"Let me figure this out" mukade said ... if I could copy the data files and the blue print and ... of this machine we could rebuild it or modify one of my own"

"damn it ... it requires a password !"  he said

"come on hacking is supposed to be one of ur expertise isn't it ?" mai said

"i can't focus now ! killing those agent made me feel it ... that darkness taking over and I liked it"

"we don't have time for this mukade ... shinitama 2 what's the password ?? "

"that is unknown to me" it replied ...

"Konoko how do u know about this place ? how did u know where to find the machine how to operate the computer ??? all this !! " Griffin said

"I don't know ! I just did !"

Kerr told me about the machine before but it wasn't until recently that I knew this lab existed ... I don't understand either !"

"I can answer that wonder" Shinitama 2 said "Kerr had implanted this knowledge deep into ur memory to be triggered at the right time ... he used me and the neural link between u and ur shinitama ... those memories only to be triggered by me when i sense u in the proximity, first time u were in the warehouse long ago i collected all necessary data by monitoring u" 


"people has been messing with my thoughts for a long time i see"
"kerr did talk about the machine before ... his last words were ... "the machine can save the world ... u'll find it where it all began ... my darling "

"We are running out of time no matter how strong that door is there's a limit to how  many rockets it can handle !"  mukade said

"Is there anything else u remember mai ?" griffin asked

"no no ... WAIT .. of course he never called me that ... try "mydarling" as the password

"WORKED! I'm in" Mukade said 

ok copy those files quick !

"WARNING ...  WARNING collision shield down to 50 % bullet shield down to 40 % " shinitama 2 said ...  "activating lasers on the outside

"I'm done" mukade said

"We can't just leave them with a machine that is able to kill mutants that is able to kill us ! " konoko said

"What do u suggest we do ?"  Griffin said

"My Self destruction  mechanism can destroy it and those in proximity " shinitama 2 said

"NO ! not again !" konoko yelled !

"It's the only way konoko ... I'll always be with u shinitama 2 said in her familiar voice as a photo of shinitama came on the screen ... "don't worry about me ... who knows maybe Kerr made backups ... "

"SELF DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE INITIATED ... take as many weapons as u can and head to the teleporter "

"Good bye shinitama" mai said as tears rolled on her cheeks ...
"u heard her let's move it !"

the 3 of them went to the teleporter  as shinitama 2 said 7 .. 6 ..
shields are down to 5 %

where to ?  griffin asked  "I need to go to my old lab" mukade replied as he clicked some buttons

4 - 3 ... the voice faded away as the three of them were teleported  to ...

Last edited by Samer (20/9/09 9:46)


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#60 20/9/09 12:26

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

I'm writing the next part.


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

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#61 20/9/09 12:58

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

...Nowhere.  Mai and Griffin panicked, their heads darting left and right.  Mukade was nowhere to be found.

2...  1...

"Stop!  Shinitama!" Mai yelled, but before she could finish her sentence she heard the familiar voice speak once more.

"Self destruct sequence suspended."  Mai and Griffin breathed a synchronized sigh of relief.

"What happened?" Griffin queried.

"I don't know," Mai replied.  As she stopped talking, she noticed a deafening silence permeating the room.  Mai and Griffin looked to each other.

"They've stopped shooting," Griffin unnecessarily stated.

"Shinitama, what's going on?" Mai inquired.

"I'm not sure, but--" Shinitama 2 cut herself off.  "My systems have just been accessed by an unknown source.  My security systems are being internally sieged...  This assault is..." Shinitama 2 trailed off.

"Shinitama?" Mai checked, concerned.

"I must concentrate," Shinitama 2 declared bluntly.  Griffin and Mai were silent.

Before long, a loud clang and the hissing sound of air being released resounded throughout the room.  The large barricaded door slid pleasantly open revealing the BGI assault force.  The attractive young woman stood at the forefront holding a laptop which she promptly swung shut and handed to an armored associate.

"Griffin.  Mai," she said, taking a few steps forward.  "How nice to see you two once more,"

"Samoko..." Griffin said, under his breath but audible.  (Sorry, lol.  I thought since you made her a character I'd name her after you.)

The woman smiled.  "Glad to see the stress of the job I got you hasn't made you forget the good old times," she said with intentional exposition.  Just as she'd hoped, Mai looked concernedly to Griffin at this statement.

"You and that job are both long in my past now," Griffin muttered coldly.

Samoko's smile only grew larger.  She took in a deep breath through her nose, closing her eyes, then released it satisfyingly through her mouth.  "Well, this has been fun," she said.  "Boys, detain them."  The BGI troops began marching towards Mai and Griffin.  Griffin struck a fighting pose, but Mai put her hand gently on his chest, signaling him to stand down.  A few BGI soldiers held Mai and Griffin and bound their hands behind their backs.

"This isn't over," Griffin said.

"Of course it isn't," Samoko said with a chuckle.  She then shifted address.  "You two.  Let's escort our guests out to the vehicle.  The rest of you, learn what you can about this machine.  See if anything makes it unique from the others."  Samoko turned on her heel and began to walk back out through the previously barricaded doorway, signaling with a small wave of her hand to be followed.  Two BGI troops complied, forcing Mai and Griffin to walk ahead of them with guns to their backs.

Just as they were reaching the exit of the facility, Mai suddenly turned around.  "Shinitama!  Now!" she shouted.

In the distance, a voice could barely be made out.  "Self destruct seq--"  A massive explosion cut off the computer program's words.  Everything went white.

When her vision cleared, Mai looked around.  She was lying on the ground.  Around her were Griffin, Samoko and the two BGI troops.  Their uniforms and armor were all tattered and fractured.  The BGI soldiers were clearly dead, limbs mangled and twisted every which way and blood pooling beneath them.

Mai jumped up and extended a hand to Griffin who painedly took it in his own.  She helped him to his feet, and the two turned to Samoko who was struggling to get to her own.  Mai grabbed her by the neck and lifted her above the ground.  "Let me guess," she said, cutting right to the chase.  "BGI wasn't monopolizing these machines for the good of all mankind."

Mai looked harshly into Samoko's eyes.  Samoko choked and gagged, but gave no response.  Mai sighed.  "Where are they?" she demanded.


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

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#62 20/9/09 13:23

Samer
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

LOL Wohoo tongue I'm such a bad ass ( i mean somoko is) what an unexpected turn of events ... I liked it tongue !! kept me interested and surprised me there at the end ... nice job ^_^


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#63 20/9/09 19:44

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

nice 1 Somoko and Leus :DD. So whos up next?

Last edited by Stevinlewis (20/9/09 19:46)

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#64 20/9/09 20:53

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Whoever wants to as long as it's not me.  I hope someone does it soon though 'cause I'm gettin' into this story, lol.


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#65 21/9/09 4:45

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

If by This Friday no1 does it. Ill do it.

EDIT: But a little warning tho its gonna be a lil pervertic smile

Last edited by Stevinlewis (21/9/09 4:46)

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#66 21/9/09 7:31

Samer
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Stevinlewis wrote:

EDIT: But a little warning tho its gonna be a lil pervertic smile


I really hope not tongue if u check ur last writing u'll see the perverted part was edited out ... so keep it clean ... as I said mukade is supposedly an old friend of her father, I don't see him staring at her naked anytime soon ... keep the romance for casey & mai Griffin's son tongue

Where's mukade :\ ? the member i mean he wrote good stuff too XP


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#67 21/9/09 7:33

Samer
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

I'll write the next part later today ^_^


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#68 21/9/09 8:06

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

"Nothing, i figured it out" Saying it with a smile.

Aw, man, I thought this was subtle perverted humor, but I actually copied his post way before I read it and I just went back and read what I copied and saw that there definitely was no subtlety.


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#69 21/9/09 8:35

Samer
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Lol yup tongue there were very graphic details tongue


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#70 21/9/09 8:53

Iritscen
Moderator

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

I felt that the story was doing fine without a certain boy's newly-discovered interest in girls being injected into the writing.  And Stevin, try to grow up a bit faster, for all our sakes.  Thanks.


byproducts are fine, but where's the beef?

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#71 21/9/09 13:30

Samer
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Mai looked harshly into Samoko's eyes.  Samoko choked and gagged, but gave no response.  Mai sighed.  "Where are they?" she demanded.

"they are in our headquarters ... somewhere u can never walk out of alive" Samoko said arrogantly

"and where is that exactly ?" Mai said tightening her grasp on Samoko's neck

Samoko gazed into Mai's eyes daringly ... then suddenly her eyes lit up ... she grabbed mai's hands and with a smile she forcefully loosened mai's grasp almost breaking her arm in the process ... "BIG MISTAKE" Samoko said as she now grabbed mai's arms ... winked at her and threw her like a feather towards griffin !

"AHH" Mai screamed in pain as she knocked down Griffin

"let me guess she has a chrysallis too ?"Griffin said trying to stand up

"Yup ... one powerful chrysallis" Mai answered ...

"You fool u think u can easily defeat me ?" Samoko said as she took her weird little gun out
"It's over for u .. I'm afraid Mai ... we had big plans for u but obviously u're not going to cooperate ... I know a lost cause when i see one"

"Guns can't hurt me for long" Mai snaped back ...

"HAHA this special one will ... I present to u the chrysallis accelerator" she said as she quickly pulled the trigger ... a violet ray came out and mai had little time to dodge ... it hit her side ... "

"MAI !! ?? Griffin yelled

"Griffin ... I ... I don't feel well "... Mai said in a weak voice ... as her knees could no longer hold her ... she fell to the ground twitching ...

"WHAT HAVE U DONE TO HER !!?" he yelled at Samoko as he rested Mai's head on his knee ...

"it won't last long the chrysallis will grow rapidly to replace her every cell .. it will consume her brain her body her soul  ... soon she'll be nothing more than an orb of energy" Samoko said with a grin

"We need backup" she said to her headphone "a little cleanup in the warehouse" ... she continued addressing Griffin "We no longer have use for u my dear old man" she said as she aimed her gun at him "I'll tell Casey u said hi"

A flash shined behind her ... she turned only to receive a kick in the face that sent her flying

"U missed me ? " the teleported Mukade said

"we don't have time ... Mai is hurt we need to get out of here" griffin said

"Right on it" Mukade said ... as he put two strange devices on Griffin's and Mai's wrists

and clicked a button ...
as the furious Samoko stood up and rushed towards them ...

a flash shone and suddenly the 3 of them were in a different place ...
as Samoko found her self kicking the air ...

"Where are we ... what's happening to me" Mai said trembling

"In my old lab" Mukade answered .. I was teleported here, I wondered why u 2 didn't get teleported too ... and I thought u would need my assistance ... "

"The teleporter stopped before it teleported me & Mai ..." Griffin answered

"Good thing I found those old wrist band teleporters here then ... they are able to cover more distances than the one i usually use ... Now konoko ... stop twitching around like a baby ... I think I know what she did to u ... "

"I feel like I'm about to explode ..." Konoko who was now glowing said

"Did she shoot her for more than 5 seconds ??? answer me !" Mukade yelled at griffin

"No ... no less much less !" he replied

"then we can still save her ... she wasn't hit long to make a complete transformation ... that shot just pushed her to the Imago stage " Mukade said as he searched thru his drawers ...

"Here it is !  he said finally as he got a needle "

"What is that ???" Mai said glowing purple more than ever ...

"A tranquilizer enough to take out an elephant but in ur case it will just restore u temporarily to normal " ... "let's just hope i can get the needle thru ur skin ! the chrysallis is healing ur cells immediately !"

seconds passed and mai's glow started to fade ... "I feel better now" ... she said as she stood up and almost fell again

"Easy there Mai " Griffin said catching her ...

"We'll need to do this every once and a while so u remain normal" mukade said ...

"oh Great ! ... I never really liked needles" Mai said "but then again I don't like turning into a white mutant either "

"If I can modify one of my machines according to Kerr's blueprints I may be able to modify it  from killing mutants as ur uncle planed to just suppressing the transformation " Mukade said

"Then we need to get one of those machines ... we're going to their head quarters !" Mai said

"and where is that ?" Mukade replied

"this little tracker will help us" she said smiling"I put the sensor on Samoko when I grabbed her" 

"WHERE DID U GET THAT FROM ?? there were no trackers in ur uncles lab" Griffin asked

"Barabas gave it to me when we met at the vault smile ... So gang are u ready to go into the monster's lair ? "

Last edited by Samer (22/9/09 17:32)


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#72 21/9/09 14:31

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

mmmm, okay i guess its high time i write again smile
i need a few minuites to get some thoughts in a coherent order tongue

AHH! i cliked off the post and hit backspace by accident! I gotta rewrite them paragraphs now D:

Last edited by Mukade (21/9/09 14:41)


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

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#73 21/9/09 15:00

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Among the weapons they found at the lab was an early prototype of the chrysalis enhancer used by Samoko. However, according to some information downloaded by Mukade, (he downloaded all the contents of Kerr's computer to sift through any additional information that could be of use.)
   "This weapon was designed not to be destructive, but for containment purposes. The weapon fires a charged net of energy that wraps the host, and causes the chrysalis to divert all it's energy to repairing cells damaged by the charge. The charge will render the victim weak or unconcious, and will be vulnerable to other attacks."
    "So, essentially, this weapon overloads the chrysalis, making any other attack on the victim as effective as it would be on someone who is not a host?" Mai said with disgust.
     "As repulsive as the prospect seems, this weapon may come in handy." Commented Griffin
     "It can be used to take down Samoko. I don't think any other weapon can do the job"
     " Are you sure about that?" Mai said, glancing sidelong at a BGI Rocket Laucher they had grabbed from the weapon locker.
     "I like how you think Mai, but we have to assume that she is stronger then any conventional weapon we have."
     "I guess..."

      They packed their weapons and ammo quickly, and headed out the door. They found themselves in the remote part of the city. Mai and Griffin both looked at Mukade. He was the only one who knew where they were.

      "This way" He said, turning left down the street. They walked for a good hour, not wanting to waste anymore energy on the already taxed teleporting system. Eventually, they came to a ramshackle structure, with boarded up windows, and a loose hanging door. Their postion very nearly matched Samoko's postion. But Mukade just kept on walking.

     "Wait aren't we..." She was cut short but a sharp "Shh!" from Griffin
      "They're bound to have the place locked tight with security. We can't just walk up the front step, just keep walking."
     They walked for another minute, then darted between two houses.
     "Now," said Griffin, "Here's what we do..."


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

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#74 21/9/09 15:21

Samer
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

nice big_smile ... welcome back we missed ur contribution ...   but one question tongue u are talking about the prototype gun they found or about Samoko's gun ? when u said it's for containment purposes

btw if u want to write in notepad then copy paste so u don't lose the paragraphs accidentally ... also if u're using firefox browser there's an add on called Lazarus which effectively restores typed forums and comments ... etc ^_^


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#75 21/9/09 16:46

Lithium
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Stevinlewis wrote:

If by This Friday no1 does it. Ill do it.

EDIT: But a little warning tho its gonna be a lil pervertic smile

Yea you damn unmature. Wait a minute!....nope im not like that, i dont kill po- stay of to- um say any stup-...DAMN!
anyhow carry on

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