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#1 28/4/13 10:37

tens
Member
From: Dota 2
Registered: 27/4/13

A re-interpretated Story!

The story starts of with Blair, our main character as he goes through some of the ordeals at the Head Quarters and unravels 'her' past. Hope you enjoy reading it!

Last edited by tens (24/10/13 20:56)


What does it matter? Even if the odds are against me, I'll do it, it doesn't matter.

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#2 28/4/13 11:32

tens
Member
From: Dota 2
Registered: 27/4/13

Re: A re-interpretated Story!

Story
This is a Fanfiction I do not own any of the characters except Blair, Josh, John and Jeffri. This is a re-interpretation of the story of the game ‘Oni’ from a view of an uninvolved officer who unravels the mysteries and the story of the game.


Setting
Story is set in a dystopian universe in 2032, where there is a group that specializes in technological crime called the Syndicate. Our hero is part of the counter-group called the TCTF, technological crimes task force. Mai Hasegawa, a member in the same department goes rogue after her chief in command asks her to stand down, while her friend, Shinatama was kidnapped. Oni is a game, where we play the heroine, Mai Hasegawa, A.K.A. Konoko, fight through various levels with our acrobatic skills to prevent sabotages and raids all the while using guns and martial arts with deadly force. We are mainly fighting to prevent Mai’s brother, Muro who by a twist of fate goes bad due to unknown reasons and is now trying to contaminate the earth’s atmosphere even further by reversing the work of the atmospheric conversion centres. The atmospheric conversion centres work as a filter to the zones, purifying the toxins. The world is full of poisonous toxins from WW3. The plants outside the ACCs are affected now and are deadly and lethal to humans.
Oni
Chapter-1 Intro
I’m Blair, I joined the TCTF about 1 year ago and just finished training a few months ago and I’m 19 years old, with blue hair a genetic trait from my father. I was a jock during high school and always planned on joining the task force.
Work

It was a hot day and as the clouds slowly crept in it alleviated my frustration, I was set to guard duty after 2 years of training but what really grated on my nerves was I wasn’t assigned to a squad and a girl was. It was a bit humiliating, she didn’t seem like much and she was younger than me!

I approached one of the guys who I knew, a senior officer. Josh always played it cool, prodding and poking for info. He virtually had every piece of information on his laptop. I walked up to him during the rotation and asked him about the girl.

"Josh, do you know of the girl, the one with purple hair.”

He glanced up at me before starting “Yes, you’re describing Agent Konoko. Why the sudden interest in her?”

“I’ve seen her go in and out on solo missions, she looks younger than me! I hear-”

He started chuckling, interrupting me and continued “Yeah, well what’d you expect, she’s been here longer than me and she’s the same age as you. I remember I approached another asking about her, it amazes me how she manages to catch the eyes of every new recruit.”

My jaw dropped a bit expecting him to retract what he said I paused before continuing “Well, what do you know about her? I still can’t imagine her being better than me and I passed the final exam with a score of 89! And It’s not what you think it is, I’m just curious.”

His smirk grew “Well, her score is 96, she’s an expert marksman unlike you and she’s been here from when she was a kid. But even I’m a bit confused at why Commander Griffin assigned you the guard duty.”

“Well, yeah… Catch you later.” I abruptly stopped the conversation and I didn’t feel like continuing after hearing what he had to say. I returned to duty.


Chapter-2 The Ordeal
The next day i had the night shift and was killing time before my shift and that’s when i caught a glimpse of her in a fast food restaurant, how could u miss that purple hair colour? I was about to go in and ask her about why she’s been in the task force since she was a kid but refrained, the subject seemed touchy.

Later, during the night shift, it was as peaceful as it could get and the people were walking around doing their duties. It was a night like any other and we couldn’t have known that it was going to happen.

The armoured van crashed into our compound, Strikers and Cyborgs were swarming into the HQ, the building threatened to collapse with the thunder like sound following it.

I slowly drew closer as I heard a fire fight break out between us and ‘them’, the Syndicate. I never understood exactly why the guards were given firearms instead of just batons, the Commander must have foreseen a day like this to come, to have us prepared and ready to fight.

I slowly peeked around the corner to get an understanding of where the ‘enemies’ were. It was terrible, innocent civilians non-combat personal were being massacred. There were already a lot of casualties on our side, people were scuffling about and suppressive fire lay upon each other.

“Damn it, I could’ve maybe saved a few of them.” I whispered to myself. Another glance and I could see a few females in combat cloth get down from the armoured vehicle. I read about these special girls, Furies is what they called them.

I was in full-alert, i could hear gunfire from upstairs as well from around the corner, and they had already killed the people standing guard. It was a mess and we were out-gunned completely. I figured ascending to a vantage point would provide a better aim. I sneaked up the stairs so as to not alarm the strikers who were already exchanging fire with allied forces.

I inched further up and saw two of them, a man was exchanging fire while the other hacked the console beside him, and they poked their head out every so often to provide suppressive fire.

After a moment the fire fight died down and the one who was keeping point dashed out towards his aggressor as both of them were out of ammunition, the other was still scouring our console for any bit of information he could get. I slowly sneaked behind him before delivering a blow from the butt of my gun, he fell like a puppet with its strings cut.

The scuffle outside could still be heard, I immediately ran out. They were both exchanging blows as I came out. I was behind the Striker and he had no idea, I signalled John as I moved closer slowly from behind without making a noise. I moved my hand upwards for maximum power and bought it down with enough force to crack his helmet. He gasped before falling to the ground as well.

John was now leaning on the wall “Thanks Blair, their armour makes them really hard to deal with, especially when they’re trained.”

“Don’t mention it, look out for the other one inside he’s knocked out but I’m not sure when he’ll come to.” I paused, waiting for an approval and as he nodded “Will you be fine on your own? I have to assist the others.”

He slowly slid down to the floor with the ordeal done. “Yeah, just leave a clip if you have any left, this turned out to be a better day than I was thinking it was 5 minutes ago.”

I slid my pistol to him before heading back, to get another from the man I downed previously. This was all just crazy, the Syndicate were always hostile but never to the point of a full out onslaught on us.

I couldn't wrap my head around the benefits they would get from infiltrating our HQ, with such a big force. I walked to the downed Comguy and kneeled before noticing the console light blinking, it highlighted the file and he was looking into info about the SLD, a Simulated Life Doll and Code-name Shinatama. It was located at the core of our HQ and for whatever reason he needed more info about it.

A moment later his com starting buzzing, I picked up without talking. “So did you get the info? We already have our hands on the ‘merchandise’ get out! Hello? Are you there?”

I understood what the ‘other guy’ was saying and grabbed the gun from his holster before heading out to where ‘Shinatama’ was supposed to be.

I ran upstairs clearing corridors sloppily heading to where ‘Shinatama’ should be located. A moment later my face met the butt of a gun, i came to moments later with blurred vision and a possible concussion.

I got up looking around to find the striker which knocked me, only to find him on the floor unconscious he was beaten to a pulp. I looked around to see who was responsible and sighted konoko was running at full blast to the higher levels, she looked distressed.

I took a few moments to get myself back up from the blow, my hand reached my head to quell the sharp pain and I felt a bump slowly disappearing from my forehead.

I noticed a hypo-spray was rolling on the ground beside me, I understood what happened before taking off. A few minutes later i arrived at a supposed graveyard, there were guys saying she ran in, took out 3 Strikers and a Fury before leaping atop the elevator and cutting off its cable to get to the top floor. It seemed like that of a movie sequence but it was true and the bodies on the floor were proof enough.

My mind was filled with questions, where was the SLD? Why was she heading to the top floor? And how could she so easily take out 3 Strikers and a Fury! After a few minutes of non-stop running through fleets of stairs I reached the top.

I drew my gun as I closed in on the entrance before proceeding to enter. My eyes weren’t prepared for the carnage, another graveyard which nearly cost me my lunch. The bodies littered the hallway outside the Commanders office, the Syndicate will pay for this.

I heard a shout from outside the building, I moved out slowly and this time carefully to avoid unwanted ‘surprises’ and while approaching with caution I heard "You will NEVER save her, hahahaha" a gunshot ringed out immediately after the man finished , Konoko finished him off .

"Why do they need Shinatama.” Her train of thought was interrupted as the intercoms buzzed.

"A very good job done, people the threat is terminated and most of them seized. Building secure, we have suffered many casualties today we shall mourn for our fallen but it not yet time. It will be time when those despicable fiends are behind bars so that no one else will have to suffer!"

Again, it continued "All remaining forces assemble in the Cafe." Konoko looked to the sky. A tear in her eyes, my heart immediately felt crushed. She wiped the tear off her face with her wrist before her determined look came back. She took a few steps before her mouth opened.

“Good work guard… they’ll pay for today dearly.” Her voice cracked a bit as she finished and she continued marching past me, it seemed forced. She must not want people to think of her as weak, or I’m overthinking it again and it’s just from the hard days’ work.

She seemed a bit impatient as the reports were being announced by each respective officer and member of the staff who avoided most of the damage dealt by the Syndicate. I still couldn’t the see the SLD, ‘Shinatama’ around to provide her status report and I knew she was involved but nothing to the degree or the importance she held.

“That’s all for today, good work officers.” Finally Konoko seemed incapable of repressing her emotions as she lashed out.

“What… about… Shinatama.” Holding her voice down and giving importance to each word as she spoke, she seemed just on the verge of going rogue and taking this personally. Everyone knows that no matter how personal this gets, we just can’t take matters into our hands and hand justice to people who ‘deserve’ it. No matter the reason. The silence continued a bit longer before the Commander opened his mouth.

“That’s for another day as everybody here is tired and injured. And I do not permit you to head out after her and I’ve known you long enough to know what you’re capable off and how impatient you are. End of discussion on this topic, do you understand?” Konoko seemed even more furious as her leader didn’t even pay her the attention she wanted or the permission she needed.

Her eyes were wide, her mouth a bit open. She gave out a breath before turning and leaving.

“Are you going after it?” The Commander was careless with his words.

She stopped, without turning to face him she replied “Yes.” The Commander sighed as if he foresaw this was going to happen.

“If you leave now, you’ll be considered a rogue agent and we WILL have to apprehend you.” A look of which could only be described as ‘You have to be joking.’ spread throughout the Café. No one wanted or could stop her. The commander released another sigh and continued.

“But today’s work is done and it’s only natural for personal to return to their respective houses or dorm. It can’t be helped if one or two go missing in the dead of night.” A tiny smile got past her exterior and quickly disappeared as another took a hold of her, determination. She disappeared from the Café into the darkness of this cruel world.
Chapter-3 Bio-History

It’s been a day and the repair work started proceeding and the personal returning to their posts after the onslaught. We avoided a few casualties as one our teams were out in the field operating and found their lead had been bait for the opportunity to attack us. They had roughly a dozen men in their team for the mission, so our work progressed as usual with the healthy hands pitching in wherever necessary, Josh was in the squad that moved out and wasn’t scathed.

I knew ‘Shinatama’ was the one of the main objectives of the Syndicates attack on our base but why lose so much for just a single SLD which could be mass-produced. A simple Simulated Life Doll. I knew Josh could get the information I needed. I found him as usual at the Café and boy, was he a stickler for detail. His face grew a bit serious when I asked him about ‘Shinatama’, I didn’t like that. Josh was a guy who played it cool, always a bit loose. When he got serious it meant trouble.

“Why’d you want to know?” his face was now completely serious, scanning my face to catch a lie.

I came in closer so as to not let others hear since I felt the topic was a bit more serious and wasn’t intended for the ears of all. “I saw one of the hackers, a Comguy hacking our network for information about her and various other people I remember a few of the names, Mai, Casey…” he interrupted me.

“Why?” he didn’t need the information just the reason.

“I overheard Konoko ‘that’ night, she seemed attached to the SLD, and Shinatama was its name. I know their objective was Shinatama and they got her. They called her ‘merchandise’ and I know the Syndicate is interested in her.”

Josh was completely in thought as he was looking down into his laptop with his eyes completely unfocused. “You have no idea how deep of a mine you’ve struck. I thought you were a spy for a second because the only ones who know of this are the team that was out at the night of the attack.” He paused contemplating about what he was doing next.

“Well, I’m not responsible if my laptop was accessed against my knowledge when I lent it away to a friend.” And with a smile and wink of his eye he left. “Just be sure to return it before the end of the day!”

I got up a bit nervous from the how serious Josh got, I didn’t like how touchy the subject turned out to be.

Later when I returned home with a fat pay check for my work during the day of the onslaught, I immediately opened the laptop. The files were already labelled, ‘To Blair’.

Shinatama, a simulated life doll, a doll made with the brain enzymes of Mai Hasegawa, Mai the daughter of the ‘creator’ of the Chrysalis. Shinatama was a doll made to monitor the subject ‘Konoko’ A.K.A. Mai Hasegawa, the subject has the ‘Chrysalis’ implanted within her.

The Chrysalis is an experimental a catalyst used to change a human being into that of a ‘Doadan being’ the Chrysalis acts as a performance improver which makes the being stronger, faster, endurable and after the catalyst develops along with the host adapting to what the host feels and persists through making them being of immense power but this does not come without consequences the first test subject ‘Muro’ her brother was the first subject who was ‘changed’ and his personality changed drastically over the years.

The second subject has not experienced any sort of personality the cause for the change in the first subject is still unknown. The Chrysalis was a project to allow humanity to re-inhabit the world outside the ACC zones but the Chrysalis does not immediately provide the required resistance until it develops to that of a final stage of a Doadan Being. The change in personality requires more implementation but the initial creator has gone since missing, Prof. Hasegawa.

This means that the Syndicate plans to use Shinatama to extract information about the Chrysalis! Why else would they need the monitor! Damn, I have to move. I wasn’t exactly in the right mind not after learning her own dad used her as a ‘subject’. My anger controlled my actions now as I left my house I realized it was still around 2 P.M. as I only got home from my night shift at around 11A.M.

Going around the streets wandering wasn’t helping much. I noticed a gun store where I could get a registered gun, it felt like a good choice since I would return my standard issue Jackal back when leaving.

The bell rang out when I opened the door, alerting the manager who was polishing one of his guns. A smile erupted from his face as he saw me.

“So what would you like, sir.” I examined his face a bit before looking down, a standard small arms was all I needed.

“Small arms, preferably a bit light weighted and easy to carry around.” His smile grey a bit more as he seemed to contemplate about what I was going to use it for.

“For self-defence of course.” I continued trying to dismiss his ideas.

“Yes, of course, for self-defence. I recommend this beauty, a Casull, cheap and light weight. It’s an excellent piece of art but I’m willing to bargain a deal with you.”

I looked at him for a second my thoughts wandering about the various intentions of this strange man. And as I looked at him, he smiled a bit more as if he knew what I was thinking. But it doesn’t matter, a deal is fine with me.

“That would be great, thanks.” I checked the condition, the shaft, the magazine, the trigger and the bullets. It seemed a bit too good and to get a bargain over it. This shopkeeper is not just ‘anybody’.

After I left the store there wasn’t much time until my shift started and the Commander wanted me earlier than normal for some reason. Something about a change at where I would be positioned, maybe I was being promoted the thought provided me some comfort.
Chapter-4
It was a dull night not much happening till some of our strike teams had been assembled to go the processing plant i guess they found out where ‘she’ was. I had nothing much to do but just sit here and moniter the screens which kind of was interesting some times, but today was just a dull time and I was still tired as I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep from the day before.

I dozed off only to be woken by commander Griffin, he was going on rounds when he noticed me and had come over to give me a prompt shout into my ear he said “Don’t slack off while on duty that’s for when your off of it.”

I responded promptly “YES SIR”, and then again got back to moniter the various screens in the booth.

“Sigh.” guess promotion is all about the time u spend on duty, but hey asking for a promotion when i took out 2 Strikers isn't asking too much or maybe it was, I knew promotion was given to those who worked hard and spent time and effort. It’s been only a few months since I finished my training.

The alarms started to go off, I hadn’t seen any unusual activity on the screens but decided it was better to investigate it rather than sit here bored and tired. Time to stretch some muscles and so I left the booth and started moving around before finding some of the personnel knocked out, not killed but just knocked out. Some of the other guards started shouting out

“He’s over there! At the second floor, he must be trying to get to the rooftops!”

I left hurriedly my body aching for some action my mind begging sleep, I knew better than to work while tired, I should’ve called in and skipped today but I was on complete adrenaline when the intruder was discovered.

I ran behind one of the guards who was heading out to the place of escape or what he suspected the man to be doing. And we weren’t the only ones apparently when we saw more bodies, guards included all knocked out, bruised heavily and some breathing heavily.

“You stay here, and tend to them. I’ll go ahead.” I felt myself shiver with the thought of fighting against the thing which could decimate 4 guards. He was surely strong to be able to deal with these experienced guards. I reached the room, it had a giant glass which was broken, and for a second I thought I spotted a girl chasing a black suited rumoured Ninjas.

The jump wasn’t that big, I took a few steps back and leaped over the gap, the fall would surely kill me but I knew the ‘girl’ was who I thought she was. As I rolled to spread the momentum and stop and as I raised myself my head was introduced to pain. A kick from a Ninja, one of the high specialist enemies we were thought about in training. The blow wasn’t too painful as I rolled back into a crouching position before slowly getting up with one hand over my head.

“So I take it, you aren’t going to let me pass through here without a fight are you?” there was no response at first until a small nod came from ‘it’.

It was by no means a monster nor was it a thing but its skills and arts were that which could be compared to that of a manual. Training always instructed us to bait it into a scuffle on the ground as its physical strength was only a quarter to any of us. Its techniques are that things which are dangerous, eye pokes, low blows, it aims for maiming the opponent aiming vitals only.

We slowly started moving, the Ninja a bit more light footed compared to my heavy steps which weight behind each one, I put myself on my toes so as to kick the ground for a directional push into the Ninja. The circling went on for a few more seconds until the Ninja decided it was time to strike, it sized me up and was now going in for the kill, the thought put my hair on end.

It moved very fast with almost no wasted movement, no extra steps. He was in front of my face almost instantly, i knew what to do but my body froze from the sudden show of speed. With alacrity I accepted the situation but he immediately leaped backwards not letting me catch him.

The situation was tense and I knew I was in trouble if I let him make the first move. I slowly started walking towards the Ninja leaving myself open to an attack confident of my reflexes to make it miss my vitals and give me the chance to pull it down. The Ninja seemed unsure of what it was going to do, it charged towards me, its punch lashed out towards my face just to stop short, I caught it immediately waiting for this moment.

A sudden piercing pain and I was on the ground on my side, my vision was completely disorientated. I caught it and then… I was on the ground. The Ninja was still frozen in its position. Its leg was raised high and started moving again, slowly getting back into its stance immediately realized what it did and it covered my vision with its hand in front of my face so that I wouldn’t see its leg coming at me. I slowly got, stumbled to my feet and got back into a posture if not a stance.

Ready to fight again, I repeated the procedure and starting walking towards it. The Ninja was determined to finish it this time and wasted no time in charging. Its punch stopped short again but this time I wasn’t in the mind to guess what side its kick was going to come from, a low blow? A kick from the left or was it going to be from the right?

I had no intention of even thinking of these as I jumped into its punch and pushed myself through getting the Ninja under me; I lashed out my baton and held it up to the throat of the Ninja as well fell down slowly.

What felt like an eternity to both of us was just a moment, slowed down due to the sheer amount of adrenaline pumping in our bodies.

The cavalry came in from behind covering the gap with a wooden board and running over it. I fell backwards from my broken opponent. The guy looked at me with horror for a second before he immediately called out to someone behind him and I heard the one word he said before touching my head and feeling a slick liquid flowing from the side of my head.

“MEDIC!” and darkness enveloped me. I woke up a few hours later, stitches on my head over a scar which was almost sealed. Hypo-sprays really are one of the greatest medical inventions. It was an injection, contrary of its name, the concept seems that of which was derived directly from a game. It instantly accelerates the process of slow healing by 10-fold and prevents even the most fatal of injuries from killing the patient immediately.

Chapter-5 Fate?

I was exempt from duty for the next few days to recover from the pent-up fatigue and from re-opening my scar on my head, thought it was considerably healed the scar could still open up and prove to be life threatening.

With no duty I wandered the streets at night as my sleep cycle had shifted from the norm. I had to wake up at 5P.M. to get to work and leave at 7A.M. and with the things going on right now, I woke up considerably later than normal. It was already 10P.M. and I had nothing to do. The wandering soon lead me to an abandoned house, the house was listed in the data Josh gave me and I planned to get a close look, as I approached turned the corner I saw a shadow entering the quarantined building.

It was a good thing I had the Casull here with me, though I wasn’t sure if I would need to either use it against a thief or a Striker, I’m sure the Syndicate would be interested in this area, just as much as any other person. I cautiously corned the door, trying to be as quiet as possible to get the jump on the intruder.

A familiar voice spoke in a low tone, cracking here and there “Dad, where are you… Uncle Kerr told me you were still alive but I need to know for myself.” She continued talking but in a lower tone to herself.

“My father’s lab, it’s hard to imagine what it would have been like to have known him. Coming here is like walking with his ghost through the past we never shared.”

She started narrating off a digital-pad which was in her hand as she lay on the old bed. “Since the loss of my beloved Jamie, I have tried to find a way to excuse my survival. Her sacrifice must have some meaning or the tragedy of it will overwhelm me.” She paused a moment so as to not let her determination waver as she read through it.

“I met Jamie when she was a student of mine. She was one of my best. It was also obvious that she was on exceptional person.”

“Jamie was an activist. She knew the government was concealing the facts about the environmental crisis. She was determined to set things straight no matter what the cost.”

“Jamie convinced me to join in the struggle. We both knew it was dangerous but were young and thought we were indestructible.”

The small voice spouted words which were akin to that of Latin as I couldn’t make heads or tail of the information. I should take it all in for now before asking Josh later or consulting John, they were superiors to me and I figured they would have more information about her than me.

Further into the narration, “On our way into the zone, Jamie cut her leg. The wound became infected almost immediately. I’d never seen anything like it. She was dying in my arms and there was nothing I could do to save her. All I could do was ease her pain.”

I understood what the narration meant, it was probably for the best, the infection outside the ACC zone was… I defocused for moment, an image flashed through my head. I couldn’t make out anything from it except for the infection…

“The world outside the Atmospheric Processors is poisonous. If something isn’t done we are all doomed. Jamie’s death won’t be in vain. I’m going to do something about the nightmare that killer her. Her brother will help me. He misses her as much as I do.”

Konoko seemingly dozed off as she finished the sentence and as I was not on duty it wasn’t my problem to report the rogue agent in and with a smile I left the house carefully.

Chapter-6 Finale
The day after the incident, I returned to work with nothing to do at either at home or outside. Most of my friends were either gone, out of country or just didn’t have the luxury of free time in the middle of the night. It was a bit lonely but after all these years no one seemed to be in touch anyway.

Commander Griffin was approaching me a pace I deemed ‘trouble’. He stopped in front of me and started.

“Officer Blair, you are to accompany me to the mountain complex, we believe Konoko is heading there and may have already started fighting. We are not going to abandon one of our own.” His voice cracked at the last sentence, something like this must have happened before.

“Yes, sir I would walk till the ends of the earth if you asked it of me, sir.” A bit over exaggerated but a little humour didn’t hurt anyone before. The Commander smile showed though only for a moment before it disappeared into his determined and steeled expression.

“Good, we’ll need anyone we can get right now. This department is heavily under handed in agents who have experience in field work and most of them are non-combat personnel which leaves me with you and my son Casey. Let’s hurry, shouldn’t keep the girl waiting not that she would be.”

“You mean Mai?” His face grimaced at my knowledge of her name. It was something that I shouldn’t have known but I let it slip.

“How’d you know this?” he sighed before continuing “You know what, never mind. We need to hurry and now is not the time to interrogate one of our own.”

We immediately proceeded using the second elevator to reach the top floor and Jeffri was already waiting for us, a pistol in each hand. He handed one over to the Commander while he gave me the other one I also had my Casull below my clothing just in case. You never know when such a thing will come in handy. We immediately left using the Helicopter, it was around 8P.M. and the journey ahead of us was still a good for half an hour. The commander took this opportunity to drill the information he had and in turn asked me what and how I knew.

Though he was old, he was still sharp and his wits better than ever. He asked odd questions which led me to either lead to me biting my lips to stop before I leaked other information. He was quiet the experienced interrogator but he stopped as he seemed to be ‘fed up’ with the situation.

“Fine officer, you don’t need to tell me how you got this information. But keep this in mind, what we did was what we thought was for the best at the time. We don’t expect her forgiveness nor do I expect her to trust us again but I will at the least do something right.” The commander looked away after completing the sentence and it turned into a relatively quiet ride after that though it lasted only another 5 minutes.

“We’re here Commander, god be with you all.” Jeffri’s face grimaced as we ascended slowly along the complex a top the mountain. The commander started talking.

“Jeffri you take point and lead the charge, I suspect ‘it’ has already begun.” And as he finished the sky lit up, waves were being launched into the sky at the ACC, everybody knew something bad was going to happen if whatever was emitting those waves wasn’t stopped and soon.

Jeffri was a black ops agent in the task force, one of the highest ranked officers who stayed back in-case there was an attack by another company, I never knew what happened to Shinatama in the end. It was impossible to track her with my skills with the computer and relatively impossible to ask the Commander about it.

“Get ready.” The commander warned us as we finally reached the pinnacle of our ascension of the building. Mai was already talking to a male, who oddly looked very closely like Mai. One could mistake him as a brother, wait that’s it! He was Muro, the file mentioned he was Mai’s brother and the features were remarkably similar, purple hair with compassion in their faces which matched perfectly.

We heard his voice perfectly through the helicopters deafening sound, a proclamation by her brother.

“You were a fool to come here alone.” And as we came close and into their vision, they saw us and tensed up. Commander Griffin proclaimed a few words of his own.

“She isn’t alone. You are under arrest. This ends here and now.”

He hissed back at Mai as we leapt from the helicopter onto the roof of the building.

“He used you. Join me or die like all the others, choking on dead air and foul water. I have accomplished everything our father dreamed of doing!”

Mai’s face grimaced, “He dreamed of life. All you know is death.” It was now her brother’s turn to grimace. She continued “Surrender. We have you surrounded.”

He hissed out one word. “Never.” And all hell broke loose as the Commander, Jeffri engaged onto the Furies by his side I ran past them to Mai’s side. She glanced to my side before a small smile appeared for a moment before disappearing again as she looked back at her brother.

His face was distorted with an expression of betrayal though there was none. He must’ve expected her to ‘change’ in the same way he did. I lashed out my pistol at him and started firing. He was quick, he started moving at speeds at which aiming the gun at him was almost impossible. All of a sudden, he instantaneously closed the distance between us, punching me right in the stomach depriving me of the oxygen I had, I fell forward and my face distressed by the immense pain in my stomach and lack of oxygen now.

And as I fell, their fight started, Muro lashed out kicks and started spinning his legs violently before unleashing a heavy kick. Mai blocked his kick with both her hands and was sent flying backwards, she landed gracefully in a crouched position. Muro charged at her again, this time releasing a fury of punches, she both dodged and retaliated with a punch or two of her but she was slowly being overwhelmed by her brother.

I stumbled to my feet catching every breath I could, what felt like minutes had passed were just moments. Both the fighters were slowly moving the fight away from me, Muro facing her was completely ignoring me. I knew this was my chance but my body seemed paralyzed as I tried getting up only to find myself being unsuccessful at it.

My lower body seemed to be affected the worst, my legs were shivering from the pain and the lack of oxygen but it took more than that to put me down. I stumbled on to my feet, slowly, but surely I was going to get back into the fight. One punch will not be enough to put me down for the count.

I got up albeit the fight raged on between the two Furies and the Commander and Jeffri I ignored it for the most as they seemed to be completely capable of taking out the two Furies. I slowly moved into position behind Muro so he wouldn’t see me. I saw Mai being cornered further into retreating slowly. Taking steps back, further and further. Muro was dishing out punishment at an inhumane rate his punches and kicks lashed at her like whips preying on her. She was holding but she wasn’t going to hold for too much longer.

As I completely regained my breath, we exchanged a glance between us, she was waiting for it. I charged, I hurled my body into the back of her brother, pushing him into her and she was already waiting, she crouched and pulled every bit of energy remaining in her launching herself upwards with a spinning fury while shouting the moves name.

“RISING FURY.” A sickening sound was heard from Muro’s face as she followed through the move with a fury of punches of her own. For a second, I thought I saw a smile on his face as he fell. But when I looked closer another time, it was gone. Did I imagine it or was it really there?

Mai, limped herself towards the giant satellite dish on top of an incline, she started hacking the console beside it, her expression was frantic, something was going to happen if it wasn’t stopped and soon. After a few moments she sighed, I spotted a silver light shine in the background; the entrance to the place was open. I realized all too late what it was and from the darkness came a light akin to lightning and pierced through the Commanders chest as he walked over. I looked back at the entrance, only to find the shimmering light slowly starting to brighten up.

“A sniper, TAKE COVER.” The light reaching full intensity launched out another time but this at Mai, she immediately leapt out of the way. And as I ran to get the Commander and Jeffri into cover, I saw the light was gone. It wasn’t slowly coming back anymore, gone without a trace. We waited for a few moments which then turned to minutes as we peeked past our cover trying to locate a light indicating the mercury bow was charged.

Tears slowly flowed from her face as she looked down at the Commander; I looked away into the distance. It was over, it was all finally over.

“I don’t care where you are, bring the helicopter quick, the commanders been shot by a bow. Hurry!” he knew, we knew it was already too late and as the helicopter came in from the horizon. We realized that it was over. We suffered too many casualties but with this, the Syndicate will fall, their leader shattered and dead. The crimes were going to quell down dramatically. As we headed for HQ, the sun was rising; it was a new day, a new moment each. Live life to the fullest, no regret shall ever be too great to overturn in a single day with the joy of being alive.

Last edited by tens (24/10/13 21:00)


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#3 28/4/13 13:43

Samer
Member
From: Lebanon
Registered: 4/9/09
Website

Re: A re-interpretated Story!

You have some good ideas there smile so I do hope you continue it.
Some constructive criticism though, it might help if you first type it in a document processing application like Microsoft Word which will notify you about some of the grammar and spelling mistakes and help you fix them. And I'd try to avoid words like ''dude'' and ''chick'' to make it a bit more formal. (English also isn't my first language so I understand where you're coming from)
Other than that, keep on ... it's always nice to have new members who become active quickly smile


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#4 28/4/13 14:23

tens
Member
From: Dota 2
Registered: 27/4/13

Re: A re-interpretated Story!

*Blink*

Last edited by tens (25/10/13 8:45)


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#5 28/4/13 18:22

tens
Member
From: Dota 2
Registered: 27/4/13

Re: A re-interpretated Story!

*BooP*

Last edited by tens (25/10/13 8:46)


What does it matter? Even if the odds are against me, I'll do it, it doesn't matter.

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#6 28/4/13 23:19

Samer
Member
From: Lebanon
Registered: 4/9/09
Website

Re: A re-interpretated Story!

Mm you edited first post with the continuation, are you going to keep editing same post when you want to continue the story ? That will become hard to follow, so i recommend you post each continuation as a separate post.
also try to use indentation and separate the paragraphs so it's easier to read.


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#7 29/4/13 1:45

tens
Member
From: Dota 2
Registered: 27/4/13

Re: A re-interpretated Story!

*Thanks*

Last edited by tens (25/10/13 8:46)


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#8 29/4/13 8:58

EdT
Moderator
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: 13/1/07
Website

Re: A re-interpretated Story!

Nicely done, I enjoyed reading your story.

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#9 29/4/13 17:46

tens
Member
From: Dota 2
Registered: 27/4/13

Re: A re-interpretated Story!

*In progress* smile

Last edited by tens (29/8/13 2:41)


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#10 20/5/13 22:35

tens
Member
From: Dota 2
Registered: 27/4/13

Re: A re-interpretated Story!

"In progress"

Last edited by tens (29/8/13 2:36)


What does it matter? Even if the odds are against me, I'll do it, it doesn't matter.

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