What should I do?

Leus · 11/27/09 20:11

Okay, hell.

So, in March I moved from Vancouver, Washington--where I'd lived all my life except Spring/Summer '08 when I lived in Seattle and Guatemala for five months total--to Gainesville, Florida to be with my girlfriend who I'd known for six years over the internet. Well, we broke up because it was apparent that we just weren't compatible at this point in our lives and blah blah blah, and now I feel like I should really move back to Vancouver.

So here's the deal. I'm now living a mile down the street from my ex-girlfriend and right across the street from my job. I work serving food to old people in an assisted living facility and, I have to say, on the whole I enjoy it. The residents and my co-workers are almost all really cool/nice/hilarious people. I've become especially good friends with two of my co-workers and both of them really don't want me to go. My ex-girlfriend, who I'm still very close with, doesn't want me to go either. I don't want to leave any of these people behind and I really care about all of them and would love to continue spending time with them, but there's also all my life-long friends and family chillin' back up in Vancouver who I'm sure would love to see me too.

Besides people that I care about, there are other factors influencing my decision. One: My job. It's the only job I've ever been able to get, I enjoy it, I struggle with it a bit but I try my best and, as I said, on the whole I feel good about it. If I move, I'll have to leave behind all my other co-workers and residents who I'm fond of, AND try and find a new job in Vancouver and hopefully establish my place there. Who knows if I'll like my new job or if I'll even be able to FIND one, and I won't know anyone which for me tends to make for quietness and awkwardness for a while, in my opinion. I've only just recently started to become real comfortable jivin' with everyone or doin' whatever at my job, and I'd have to theoretically start that all over again at a new one, though it's also possible that I've just finally built some social skills at this job that will carry on to other places in my life. On the other hand, up in Washington minimum wage is like $1.50 higher than what I'm currently making.

Up in Washington, though, I'll be able to go to school in person. I've been taking online classes from Washington schools (because tuition fees from the state I'm a resident of are literally four time cheaper than non-resident fees would be for me here in Florida). Online classes have been giving me more of a problem than I expected; I find it difficult to motivate myself to do the work on my own. Because of this, I've been taking fewer classes and getting slightly worse grades than I expect I could be getting hopefully if I were taking in-class courses. Plus, I'd get to meet more people and build my social skills further in that environment. However, theoretically I could establish residency here come June because I'll have had my job for a year. Then I could take classes from the local community college. There's all kinds of hoops to jump through for residency though so I might still be denied, and then I'd really be in a pickle, because...

...it's entirely possible that I'll lose my Washington residency before too long, apparently. That means that I won't be able to take cost-effective courses there. Also, if I stay here too long, I might run the risk of needing to be cut off from my Mom's health insurance plan, and I couldn't afford my own in my current situation. I only make about $500 a month on average--though I've started to get a ton more hours lately for some reason--but my rent is $300 a month and I don't have a car or anything, so my only other expenses are food. So, I dunno about all that.

Finally, something... What was it? Uhh... Hell. I don't remember. But if I move back, I'm probably gonna rent a house with a bunch of my friends and live the good life. It sounds really awesome, but I just can't bring myself to sever myself from this place. OH! Yeah. It's gonna be COLD in Vancouver. When I was in Guatemala last summer, I grew to love the hot weather. Then when I lived in Vancouver last winter, it was pretty shitty whenever I had to expose myself to the cold. Down here it's warmer and warm a lot more often, which is a big plus, but ultimately not something I should base my decision on IMO when I've got my friends, family, education and job to consider.

Basically, I've felt for a long time that the reasons for me to move back home are overwhelming. I feel like it's just the best decision logically, and I'd be really stoked to see all my friends and family and go to school and live in a house with my friends, but I'm just having a really hard time letting go of all I've got going on here.

The hell should I do? Lol.

Iritscen · 11/27/09 21:11

Hmm, sounds to me like you might be better off back home. You can earn more, you're back in touch with a support network of family/friends who can help you find a new job, and you can room with some friends which will help financially. Plus, attending classes in person does beat taking online classes, and I imagine it will look better on a resume.

Long-term, you might be more of a Florida person than a Washington person, but it sounds like you might need to get a firmer foothold in some aspects of life (education, savings...) before you permanently relocate away from home. Don't let the weather influence your decision; I don't like the heat but I moved South because almost all other signs pointed to "Yes". What with air conditioning and heating, weather isn't as big a deal as some people make it out to be.

Gumby · 11/27/09 21:11

Why would you go to Vancouver when you could go to Seattle?

Leus · 11/27/09 22:11

Lol don't worry Gumbz I'll come visit you.

Irit: I know you're right, ultimately. It's just proving to be so difficult for me to just say "yes."

Samer · 11/28/09 07:11

:S I'm really sad u broke up with ur girlfriend after 6 years :s that's for one

2- I agree with Iritscen and I know it' hard to say yes and leaving all this behind, but think of it as a stage u had to go through to grow more and be ready for other life challenges ... u'll still be in touch with ur co-workers and ex ... right ?

and u have to think of all that stuff health insurance and money and rent without allowing ur emotions to interfere a lot with the decision.

so embrace the moving as a new opportunity, besides u'll have all those people who love u besides u to support u .

good luck buddy

Leus · 11/28/09 15:11

I was only with her for about 9 months actually, but we've been friends for 6 years and will continue to be, yes.

I'm glad all you impartial observers are giving me this answer. I wasn't even sure if I was presenting it as though my moving home were the best option, even though I feel it is. Your input is helpful, guys.

Mukade · 11/28/09 15:11

Here's your answer, move to Ottawa and chill (no pun intended on Canada) with me and myplea

okay no, but srsly... theres no right answer here, we can give you as much advice as we can, but that doesnt change the facts, either way you go will have it'sups and downs, this is really up to what YOU want. I know i would have a tough decision too

Alazam · 11/28/09 17:11

i suggest moving back ot ur hometown, where u grew up, you'll be happier htere or worse, but u won't find out until u visit.

EdT · 11/28/09 19:11

When making big decisions in life, its good to put down in writing your choices and the advantages and disadvantages of each, looking at the short term and long term. This helps you to see your choices more objectively.

You did that in your first post. Perhaps you can expand on that some more on a personal level, that may help you in reaching a final decision.

Stevinlewis · 11/28/09 22:11

Well, its up to you bro. but if ur gonna move back to washington, remember to not sell ur house in Florida before going back to washington but instead find a house first, get everything ready and prepared then sell ur house in florida and get back to washington. This way, it makes sure the moving is fast, neat and tidy

Mukade · 11/29/09 12:11

And if ever you change your mind before you make it final, you still have somewhere to go back to...

How are we doing so far?

Leus · 11/29/09 19:11

Doin' great. I'm prob gonna go home, and if I really want to I can always come back. I'm sure I could get my job here back, for one.

Mukade · 11/30/09 21:11

Just not enough elderly ppl helpers around are there? Yeah, you an definatly go back, and if you don't like it as much, you can simply consider it as a visit

Leus · 12/01/09 12:12

Well there's just too many elderly people here. Florida should be renamed the Old People State honestly.

Necro Skeletal · 12/01/09 13:12

Mukade wrote:

Here's your answer, move to Ottawa and chill (no pun intended on Canada) with me and myplea
okay no, but srsly... theres no right answer here, we can give you as much advice as we can, but that doesnt change the facts, either way you go will have it'sups and downs, this is really up to what YOU want. I know i would have a tough decision too

I tend to agree with Mukade about how there's no right answer and how our advice won't really change things. But since you're asking for opinions, I would suggest that you hang there for what your time frame allows, just so that you have some cash to move back with, and use that cash to get situated into a new job/everything else. You could probably just start working at another rest home back home, and move on to other things when you build up more work experience.
On a side note about your house, If you own the house you're living in in Florida couldn't you also rent it out to people, thus generating income?

Either way, do what your heart and soul tells you, and I wish you the best.

Leus · 12/01/09 14:12

I don't own it I'm just renting.

But thanks for the input.

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