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#176 09/26/09 23:09

Samer
Member
From: Lebanon
Registered: 09/04/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

yay I like the human side of this story the most ... and the action and all tongue

I couldn't resist logging in to read it ...


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#177 09/26/09 23:09

Leus
Member
From: Boone, NC
Registered: 05/28/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

smile  Glad you liked it.

We're ready for you Mukade.  Or whoever else.  smile

Last edited by Leus (09/26/09 23:09)


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#178 09/27/09 11:09

Mukade
Member
From: Ottawa, Ontario - Canada
Registered: 05/29/07

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Very good conversation between Mai and Dad :3 better then i would've done. And the sort of fatherly affection shared between James and Mukade is also very nice


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

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#179 09/27/09 13:09

Leus
Member
From: Boone, NC
Registered: 05/28/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

smile  Thanks, man.

So you got the next part?   big_smile


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#180 09/27/09 22:09

Lithium
Member
From: Colorado
Registered: 10/17/08

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Leus wrote:

Aw.  I thought people would be into this.

how do you feel now that u got a developed story?


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#181 09/27/09 23:09

Leus
Member
From: Boone, NC
Registered: 05/28/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

I'm glad.  Lol.

I'm enjoying the story and writing a lot.


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#182 09/28/09 10:09

Leus
Member
From: Boone, NC
Registered: 05/28/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Anybody?    neutral


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#183 09/28/09 14:09

Mukade
Member
From: Ottawa, Ontario - Canada
Registered: 05/29/07

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

sry, i didnt have time yesterday, or t school today :-/ ill go now tho

d'oh im blank again, and this time fo real, you didn't give me anywhere to go xD
i have no clue what they're doing

feel free to give me ideas :3

and anyone can feel free not just Samoko and Leus, maybe you others arent great writers but im sure you've got some ideas

Last edited by Mukade (09/28/09 14:09)


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

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#184 09/28/09 16:09

Lithium
Member
From: Colorado
Registered: 10/17/08

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

im enyoing it quite bit. Kinda lke a small series. Tha runs for 5 min everyday.


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#185 09/28/09 19:09

Leus
Member
From: Boone, NC
Registered: 05/28/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

It's true man, I didn't really give you much direction there.  In fact that's the whole reason I threw in the whole "we're going to the processor" bit, because I wanted to make them be doing SOMETHING other than just goin' for a leisurely cruise through a dying atmosphere.

I'll write another part and try to give you more of something to deal with.  Dunno where I'll go with it, but I'll do somethin'.  Just gotta let the fingers start flowin'.  Here I go.


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#186 09/29/09 02:09

Leus
Member
From: Boone, NC
Registered: 05/28/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

The sun was rising by the time they reached Stoneridge.  It was a much smaller city than the one they came from; like a distant suburb.  Normally a city this small wouldn't warrant an atmospheric processor, but this town was full of the elite class and their mansions.  They'd paid to have a processor constructed in their town for the feeling of security.  Of course, they were far from secure now and the town was all but deserted as the self-centered residents fled for air that was further away from its untimely degradation.

James drove up a short but windy road to the parking lot at the processor, parking the car haphazardly in the middle of the barren blacktop.  "Mai," he said, gently grabbing her arm and shaking her slightly.  She immediately woke with a gasp, her eyes shooting open.  James instinctively drew back and shielded himself,  half-expecting an unintentionally violent reaction.  Mukade just smiled.

Mai looked back and forth at both of them.  "How long was I out?"

"Don't know," James said.  "Doesn't matter.  We're here now."  The former test subjects were much more difficult to wake.  They were exhausted from a lifetime of anguish.  Every night since Mai had known them they'd slept near twelve hours apiece, and slept heavily.  Finally, though, all ten were once again assembled outside the vehicle.  They walked up to the sliding glass front doors.

They didn't open.

Mai kicked through them, and the group strolled into the facility.  "Let's split up," said Griffin.

"Because that always goes well," Barabas said sarcastically.

"This isn't a TV show," Griffin shot back.  "We're just running out of time to find..."  He paused.  "Uhm.  What exactly are we looking for, again?"

"Database.  Computers, something along those lines," James said.  "Information, basically."

"Casey, come with me," Griffin said.

"I'm with my dad," Mai chimed in.

"Edgar--" Barabas was cut off by Axel's simultaneous words.

"Barabas--" she stopped as well, then hesitated.  "Good idea.  You take Eddy.  Me and Ford can get this together."  Ford nodded in stoic agreement.

"Guess I'm with you, then," Mukade said, stepping to Sam's side.

"Now," Griffin said.  "Let's get moving.

The five groups roamed around the building.  It didn't take long before something of interest was spotted.

"There!" Edgar shouted, pointing ahead into the room he'd just entered.  Barabas looked in the direction indicated and saw a large array of consoles and other undoubtedly complicated apparatuses.

"Great," Barabas said, pleased.  "Now we've just gotta find someone who has any idea what to do."

---

"So, what's it like?" Mai asked suddenly.

Her father glanced over.  "What's what like?"

"Being suspended in time like that," she clarified.

He reflected for a moment.  "Very strange," he finally said.  "In a way it's as if I wasn't suspended at all; I feel like I have memories of countless hours staring out at that unchanging room...  On the other hand, it definitely doesn't seem like nearly two decades have passed since I entered that tomb."

They were quiet for a minute.

"What was it like for you?" he inquired.  He looked to her, and she looked away, frowning.

"Hey!" a voice came from up ahead.  The duo glanced up and saw Mukade and Sam approaching from the opposite direction.

"Any luck?" James called back.

"Nothin," said Mukade, getting closer.  The two groups finally converged and halted their progress.

James sighed.  Suddenly a huge crash rang out, shaking the building.

---

The glass ceiling above them shattered and glass shards rained down onto Axel and Ford.  The Iron Demon landed with a jarring impact and the two former test subjects fell to the ground.

"Son of a--" Axel was cut off as the Iron Demon casually opened fire from the giant machine gun on its arm.  Axel scrambled to her feet, pulling Ford along with her and ducking around a corner.

"What," Ford said uninquisitively.  Axel looked down at him.  He was bleeding from four places that she could see; two in his upper right shoulder, one on his left side, probably through his kidney, and a chunk taken out of the outside of his left thigh.  She also noticed blood begin to trickle down his cheek and neck, quickly noticing that a good chunk of his right ear was missing too.  "Oh," he said, his expression becoming more blank.

"Ford!" she yelled.  "Stay with me!"  No response.  "Don't give up on me, damnit!  Ford!"

"Sh-" he said.  "No..."  The sounds of helicopters became apparent.

"Ford!"

"Not...  Ford..." he said.  "I...  Remember..."

"What--" Axel was cut off as a powerful hand grabbed her by the throat and slammed her down onto the floor.  The wind was forced from her lungs and she choked.  Over her knelt a slightly scarred Samoko wielding a syringe.  Axel looked upwards towards the Iron Demon down the hall.  It was now standing still and protected by several stationary armed and armoured guards that had repelled down from the choppers.  She glanced over at Ford who was dragging himself slowly along the floor towards the nearby wire-bound railing.  She felt a sudden sharp pain in her neck and jerked her head back towards the Iron Demon, and as she saw more beefed-up and mind-controlled imagos begin to repel down into the room her vision faded to black.

---

CRACK!  A body landed next to them.  Casey and Griffin both jumped back and yelled; they had been on their way to investigate the crash.  The long-haired head lifted slightly and made eye contact with Griffin.  It was Ford.

Without a word, Griffin and Casey quickly grabbed Ford and carried him into the nearest room.  He was bleeding badly and seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness.

"Ford!" Casey yelled, lightly slapping the man's face.

"My name..." he began, opening his eyes a bit more.

"That's right," Griffin said.  "Stay with us."

"No!" Ford snapped weakly but suddenly.  "Will...  William"

"William?" Griffin repeated, confused.

"His name," said Casey.  A stark look had taken over the boy.  Griffin could see the look of longing in his son's eyes; Casey wanted desperately to remember.

"What happened?" Griffin asked William.  William coughed and began to shake, unable to respond.

"William, it's okay," Casey said, dropping to his knee beside William.  "We're here."

---

"What the hell's going on?" Barabas demanded in a harsh whisper, slinking up behind Mai, James, Mukade and Sam.  Edgar followed him close behind.

"The big bad bot is back," said Mai, "and the imago army."

"Plus a bunch of well-equipped guards," Mukade added, almost as an afterthought.

They waited a moment.  Mai quickly popped her head around the corner again, then drew it back.  They were pretty far down the building from all the commotion, but the whole facility was being swept by the harnessed imago warriors.

"Did they see you?" asked James.

"What's going on?" inquired Barabas.

"I don't think so," Mai began, "and the imagos are hunting all over for us.  The metal beast is being protected by a rather impressive swarm of soldiers."  She stopped and, suddenly, smiled.

"What?" Mukade urged.  "What's so funny?"

"They're throwing everything they've got at us," Mai said.  "This means two things:  One, that we really are making worthwhile moves..."

There was a pause.  "And?" Mukade prodded.

Mai's smile grew wider.  "They're getting desperate."

Samoko rounded the corner and came face to face with the group.  Standing by her side was Axel, a content yet ultimately hollow look in her eyes.  "Guess so," she said with a daring tilt of her head.

Last edited by Leus (09/29/09 02:09)


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

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#187 09/29/09 13:09

myplea1
Member
From: Ottawa,Canada
Registered: 05/25/09

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Ok I love the Story so far and maybe soon i will start some writing.

Last edited by myplea1 (09/29/09 13:09)


Awol

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#188 09/29/09 14:09

Leus
Member
From: Boone, NC
Registered: 05/28/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

smile Awesome, feel free.


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#189 09/29/09 17:09

Lithium
Member
From: Colorado
Registered: 10/17/08

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

hmm i too. But first i want to analyze it deeper...


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#190 09/29/09 18:09

Mukade
Member
From: Ottawa, Ontario - Canada
Registered: 05/29/07

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

good choice, it's better to try and understand the characters before you write on them, so you don;t take it in a completely uncharacteristic direction. I'd suggest the same to u myplea


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

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#191 09/29/09 19:09

Leus
Member
From: Boone, NC
Registered: 05/28/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Yeah, for sure.  Agreed.

Still got nothin, Mukade?


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#192 09/29/09 19:09

Mukade
Member
From: Ottawa, Ontario - Canada
Registered: 05/29/07

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

well, we've got a couple volunteers to write, so im gonna wait for them before i keep goin


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

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#193 09/29/09 20:09

Leus
Member
From: Boone, NC
Registered: 05/28/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

I wouldn't count on them doing it immediately.  But if you've got no ideas then, all we can do is wait I guess.  smile


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#194 09/29/09 20:09

Mukade
Member
From: Ottawa, Ontario - Canada
Registered: 05/29/07

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

yup, i guess, if i get a sudden very good idea, ill definately post


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

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#195 09/29/09 20:09

myplea1
Member
From: Ottawa,Canada
Registered: 05/25/09

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Don't wait up for me I'll post when I'm ready  cool


Awol

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#196 09/30/09 10:09

Samer
Member
From: Lebanon
Registered: 09/04/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

so I guess it's my turn tongue ? I got the next part ^_^


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#197 09/30/09 11:09

Samer
Member
From: Lebanon
Registered: 09/04/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Mai's smile grew wider.  "They're getting desperate."

Samoko rounded the corner and came face to face with the group.  Standing by her side was Axel, a content yet ultimately hollow look in her eyes.  "Guess so," she said with a daring tilt of her head.

"Axel ?? " Barabas said in concern "What have u done to her "

"Tamed her a bit dear .. something we should have done to u "  ... "Now let's talk about this rationally ... Mai, James if u would come with us peacefully .. I promise I'll make the others' death swift and as painless as possible" she said taking her gun out .

"over my dead body .. mai said as she started to glow ... "

"have it ur way then ... " samoko said as she  aimed at konoko ... a loud bang interrupted her and she fell to the floor .

Griffin was standing behind with a gun and Casey carrying ford .

the group reunited ...

"Let's get out of here !" mukade said

" Mai must die ... " Axel said as she picked up Samoko's gun and shot at Mai ...

"NOOO !!" James screamed as he jumped in front of the shot and fell to the floor .

Mukade in return took the prototype gun out shooting at axel ... who fell in return

"Dad !!! no !!" Mai jumped catching his fall ...  "Dad ! no no please dad !"

"Mai there are more mutants coming" ! Barabas said ...

while Mai glowed brighter and brighter !!

"NOOOOOOOOOO !!!" She screamed

as the light engulfed her whole body ... "it's happening" Griffin said "she's turning into the Imago stage ... "

"Mai ... " James whispered as he began to stand up.

"James ?? " mukade said shocked

"apparently the gun works on those who have a chrysallis .. I don't" James said .. "Mai !! resist the anger resist the pain ... let ur inner self shine ... u're so loved .. remember that he said ... "  while covering his eyes from the blinding light.

seconds passed ... and the light finally fainted as the figure it engulfed fell to the ground.


" Mai ... " James and griffin inquired coming close to the body ...

suddenly gun fire opened at them as more agents and mutants came into the room ...

"U little b..." Samoko said standing up ..."U'll pay for this !" she said searching for her gun .

"looking for this ?" mukade said as he waved her gun at her ...

"Kill them now !!!" She yelled

they all took cover behind some crates Barabas carrying both ford and axel ... and griffin and james carrying mai

"There's no way out .. we have u surrounded !!  " Samoko threatened

"Dad ... I ... what happened ?" Mai said "I feel so ... so Powerful !"

with a jump flip she came out from behind the crates ... dodging bullets and plasma rifles .. and running towards Samoko with a running leg throw she threw Samoko right into the ceiling and into the Iron demon ...

loud electrical noises were heard as the iron demon collapsed ... doing so the mutants stopped attacking ... while the agents didn't ...

"They are the enemy !!!" Casey yelled at the mutants pointing at the agents ...

the mutants no longer under control turned against the agents ... Mukade Barabas and the others joining the fight.

Mai looked up and saw the iron demon and Samoko out of sight they clearly retreated having their mission fail once more .

minutes passed on a brutal battle .. Mai's team ending up triumphant ...

after things calmed down .. finally Mai said ...  "how do i look ? "

looking at her hands ... her skin was still the same ... "why ?" she said looking at her dad

"Whatever the final form of the transformation is, it's a reflection of one's true nature ... I guess u're inner nautre is same as ur outer ... beautiful " he responded " u still look the same "
Barabas said "lucky u" as he tended to Ford and Axel ... "we found some counsels by the way"  ...

"show us" James and mukade both said equally excited


that is very interesting ! James said ... according to this the machine can disintegrate all the toxins ... everywhere ! by connecting to the satellite system it can emit a ray of chrysallis origin this ray will cleanse the air and water wherever it hits  ...
I have to do some more research ... mukade u can help me by telling me everything about ur machine ... "

"No rush guys ... " Mai said smiling "we got their gun we nailed the iron demon ... we got a mutant army ... I'm stronger than ever ... we are ready for them .. the next time we go the BGI it will be the last ... their last !"

Last edited by Samer (10/01/09 00:10)


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#198 09/30/09 17:09

Samer
Member
From: Lebanon
Registered: 09/04/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

read it sad


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#199 09/30/09 19:09

Leus
Member
From: Boone, NC
Registered: 05/28/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Sorry, Samoko.  I totally read it earlier, but then I had to go to work.

I want to write the next part, but I've got to do some apparently 3 hour project tonight.  So if I can knock that out quicker than expected, who knows?

For now, like usual, anyone feel free to claim the next part.

Actually, fuck it.  I'm writing the next part.  smile


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#200 09/30/09 19:09

Samer
Member
From: Lebanon
Registered: 09/04/09
Website

Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

LOL ...

good luck on the project .. I have 1 too that I'm completely ignoring tongue (which is so unlike me)

Last edited by Samer (03/02/10 20:03)


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