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#101 3/11/09 19:13

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

yes chrysallis at a lower stage.... blah... yeah its all right wink

Last edited by Stevinlewis (3/11/09 19:14)

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#102 15/11/09 3:57

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

"Good morning girl. How are you?" Said a big bulky man wearing a sleeveless shirt and tight jeans. "LET ME OUT NOW YOU BIG FAT BASTARD" screamed Akemi. A slight glow appeared as Akemi tries very hard to break out of her bondage on the chair. "Srynge her!" Commanded the Big fat ass dude.

  "Sir, i dont think this is gonna work. All she do is scream and her daodan status keep appearing. I dont think shes even gonna be giving us information if we carry on like this." Said the same bulky guy. "Thats cause my friend... shes only two years old." Said Hitoshi, one of the leader in "america". "What are you talking about? look at her! She looks like a twelve year old!" Said the bulky big guy. "Acctually... she was genetically combined through normal reproduction. Yes that meant Mai made a baby with another daodan symbiote and this is the out come. You were wrong that shes not gonna provide us with any useful information. She IS the information." Said Hitoshi with a slight giggle. "Wow thats great ma'am now what do you want me to do?" Said the bulky big guy. "Just make sure shes in a constant sleep."

Last edited by Stevinlewis (23/11/09 8:17)

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#103 15/11/09 4:02

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

I thought itll be good if we kept a habit of summarising what we wrote so that in case we need to refer, for example characters, we can just look at the summary instead of reading the whole bunch of words in our posts.

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#104 15/11/09 22:02

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Stevinlewis wrote:

I thought itll be good if we kept a habit of summarising what we wrote so that in case we need to refer, for example characters, we can just look at the summary instead of reading the whole bunch of words in our posts.


I do agree, and i also think we need a general plot summer somewhere, cause this one has me kinda lost... too much stuff happenin at once, which is why i havent been posting much, i dont know whats going on >_>


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

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#105 15/11/09 23:52

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Lol whups....

You got it up through the end of Salvation right?  Summary of Punishment so far, IMO:  The atmosphere is degrading.  The air is toxic to any natural human lungs exposed to it for very long, so most survivors are either chrysalis symbiotes--in early stages since this is only a couple of years after Salvation--or wanderers with air-filtration mechanisms.  Most of the chrysalis symbiotes were "done" by Conglomerate International, which I consider to be the all-powerful entity which originally controlled BGI as well as countless other branches undoubtedly and now basically controls the world.  The people who get chrysalises implanted by CI also have to agree to have a "chip" implanted.  The function of this chip is undisclosed, though I imagine it to be some sort of a potential control/killswitch device.

Mai and her father started up their own organization trying to form resistance against CI and providing people with catch-free chrysalises for survival.  Barabas and the former imago test subjects associate with Mai, but often act outside the organization of their own accord doing more hostile and directly violent work.  Griffin and Casey hadn't seen any of them in almost three years.  Now they are all reunited.

Mai and Mukade at some point made love and created a daodan child who seems to have incredibly accelerated physical maturity and probably considerable mental maturity as well.  This child, Akemi, is not even three years old but appears as a preteen or early teenage girl.

Mai, Barabas, Griffin and James all went to India following what I expected to be an arbitrary lead, but have returned with a guest.  They returned to find their carefully-concealed HQ breached and raided, and Mai's daughter missing.

Also back in India they've developed a way to make a functioning liquid form chrysalis for implantation, assumedly intravenously or possibly through ingestion.

Anything else you're unclear on?  I really just gave what I felt were the basics there, and I probably didn't remember everything.


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

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#106 16/11/09 6:52

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Yep thats pretty much it. Dam everytime i hear or see someone saying a guy and a girl making love my heart gets thumping really heart =.= I think ive got heart problems *left for the doctor*

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#107 16/11/09 15:21

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Stevinlewis wrote:

Yep thats pretty much it. Dam everytime i hear or see someone saying a guy and a girl making love my heart gets thumping really heart =.= I think ive got heart problems *left for the doctor*

Err.... okay??

Steven - i think those are called horomones, or so im told wink


Anyways, im just confused as to where Stevin was going with Singapore, it just seems that we already have enough going on, but if your gonna take it somewhere, it works. Also, we need some more more that new villain introduced?


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

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#108 17/11/09 1:18

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

To Mukade: Nope no more new environment. Was thinking maybe we should make them meet and save it for the final fight big_smile? But still we need to stick onto the title "punishment"

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#109 18/11/09 16:22

TOCS
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Man, if I had such a fantastic imagination.. my grades in language would diffinitely go up.


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#110 18/11/09 18:59

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Haha.  smile  Damn, I thought you were gonna be writin' the next part.


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

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#111 19/11/09 7:56

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

I feel like this story is dieing O_O. Cmon guys just let ur mind and ur fingers flow. wink

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#112 20/11/09 13:26

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Oh hell I never noticed that Singapore post until just now.  I hate to just ignore your work, Stevin, but I don't think anyone is gonna write for them since we don't really know who they are or what's going on with them and we have other stuff goin' on back with Mai and her people.  Maybe, like you said, they can become a part of the story later on.

That being said, the last part that was written about the present action with Mai was by me.  So anyone else want a crack at that?


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

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#113 20/11/09 20:56

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Yeah back to Mai!! :S

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#114 22/11/09 1:36

Samer
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

I just think u have many unnecessary characters :$ and names

I've tried to read it before but was just kinda lost with the big number of characters ... ( I really think the main characters should remain same as first installment + Akemi )

for example who is Omar, or Vernon, or Marvic, or Amanda or Tommy or Sydny or Hitoshi :\ who is that lady they came with :\ etc ...
if the character is just secondary and won't appear again it's less confusing if they just remain unnamed ... and u're branching out too much without building to a plot,  just random world wide events as I read from Leus's summary.

that's just my opinion I could be wrong since I didn't read the whole thing.

Last edited by Samer (22/11/09 1:45)


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#115 22/11/09 2:11

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Just concentrate on Mai and her gang :X Ill do the joining.  wink

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#116 22/11/09 13:13

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Samoko wrote:

I just think u have many unnecessary characters :$ and names

I've tried to read it before but was just kinda lost with the big number of characters ... ( I really think the main characters should remain same as first installment + Akemi )

for example who is Omar, or Vernon, or Marvic, or Amanda or Tommy or Sydny or Hitoshi :\ who is that lady they came with :\ etc ...
if the character is just secondary and won't appear again it's less confusing if they just remain unnamed ... and u're branching out too much without building to a plot,  just random world wide events as I read from Leus's summary.

that's just my opinion I could be wrong since I didn't read the whole thing.

exxaaccctllyy......


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

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#117 22/11/09 20:40

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Yeah I haven't been trying to add characters, but I have given names to secondary ones.  Well I did try to add Omar and Hitoshi 'cause I figured we need some tangible villains at least for the time being.  And also Akemi, of course.  But the others were just meant to be side characters that were referred to by name, and I dunno what's goin' on in all these different places around the world lol.


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

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#118 22/11/09 21:12

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Kay i just edited it wink

Last edited by Stevinlewis (23/11/09 8:17)

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#119 26/11/09 13:47

dream996
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

here is an idea !
a story about the past ....b4 konoko was born and so on and after konoko born until to the beta6 training .......
or someone could write the whole game back into story with speech in it '' the speech that was in the game _  http://wiki.oni2.net/Quotes/Speech


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#120 27/11/09 5:00

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Yesh. But some1 will do that after this. Cuz this 1 is still in progress

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#121 27/11/09 12:56

dream996
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

im quite looking forward it...( but i just started yesterday.....i read like 9 pages ... tongue


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#122 28/11/09 14:48

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Yeah, but i really want to make the third one of this series, the "global war scale" story


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

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#123 28/11/09 15:13

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Doesn't matter which one of the "series" it is, does it?  And hell, if you guys wanted you could start both of those right now in separate threads.  I'd write for 'em.  tongue


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

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#124 30/11/09 23:55

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

OKAY THATS IT. IM DONE WAITING TIME TO GET MY FINGERS TYPING AGAIN!!! Bwahahahaha. ^^

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#125 1/12/09 0:32

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

"Okay everyone's weapons on? Good, were here to try to rescue Akemi. Barabus, you lead Alpha Team. Ill go with Beta. Anyone lost?" Said James Hasegawa looking around trying to find someone raising up their hand. "Okay good each team only has 4 people including the leader. Okay get onto the armoured truck. ALRIGHT LETS GET MOVING.". James double tap the truck to tell the driver he has entered the truck.

"Okay the plan is to storm CI's building, destroying their gates at the same time. Our pilots will then come in to crush their base down to the ground. Now I know some of you are confused and asking urselves why we are destroying their base again when we just did that 2 weeks ago. That is because our recon team has discovered CI's base. A bigger one. The one we destroyed 2 weeks ago was just an out post.". "All right guys. The base is just a few miles away from here. Get ready everything here, were gonna face heavy fire when we get there." said the driver, also the demolitions man.

"2 minutes passes. Time to move on guys. Snipers, activate ur phase cloak when we have smashed their gates and run up to the towers, kill everyone on it and then secure the outer ring. Demo mans, destroy their bullet proof doors with C4s and launchers in the respective order. Riflers, follow your leader. Alpha will strike the back door while Beta will do the front." Said James on the journey to Ci's base.

The armoured truck raced at full speed of 150 km/h (very fast) at the same time, taking damage from the snipers from the guard towers. both truck smashes into the gates at the same time causing flying debris which killed an unlucky mutant getting ready to jump on them from afar. The two snipers from the truck from both alpha and beta truck got out from the trucks and ran to the two highest towers. They activated their cloak and raced to the towers, opened the doors, slashed the troats of all the snipers and gunned down the ones who did not die. "Towers clear". At the same time, Demo mans got out from their trucks, planted the c4s in the mist of the great battle all over them. They raced back into the truck, clicking on the pressed on the big red button which said 'boom'. A terrific explosion smashes the gates into two. It collaspe onto the ground.

Now the gates were a road block but the demo mans were prepared for it. They shot a rocket each onto the gates, clearing the debris. "Soldiers, theres a slight change of plans, the back door is secured and blast proof. Impossible to break. So lets stick together and go in. The trucks got up to 50km/h in just a few seconds and got into the building. Crushing some scientist and mutants at the same time.

The truck came onto a screeching halt echoing in the large compound which seems like the hall. Everyone got out. The place was deathly quiet. A large window appears in front of them, outside the window is an orange sky, covered with some patches of black smoke. The sun was setting fast. The room's walls, ceiling and floor was covered in pictures of great art. "Wow... this place looks like someone's house." Said Mai, Alpha's rifler. The team explores the room when a sudden crack came from James' pants. It was his Sat. (Satellite) phone.

"Outer ring cleared. No injuries from both of us. Shall we proceed into the building?" Said one of the sniper. "Negative. there might be more. Make sure your environment is properly secured. Over and out." Said James. "Hey this door has the word 'lab work. proceed with caution'. Shall we continue in?" Asked Mai. "Alright proceed with caution." Said James.

Mai opens the door with everyone ready to shoot at the door. She grabs the knob.....

------- summary ------

team of eight enters the CI base in search of akemi, a bigger one
Outer ring of the building in cleared.
However, the door behind the team might be Akemi. However they are not sure.

Last edited by Stevinlewis (1/12/09 0:34)

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