Oni Central Forum

A Community-driven Forum discussing Bungie's Oni

You are not logged in.

#26 5/10/09 15:10

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

*Shrug* things aren't always what they seem, even to those involved.

I figured a while back that they could feel each other because they were destined lovers.  smile


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

Offline

#27 5/10/09 15:56

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

D'oh, I was hoping Casey and Mai would hook up :-/
i tried to hint at it in the first one, but i guess not xD
maybe later..
sorry that i haven't written, but there really isn't any main conflict yet, and i don't know what to write. I'll leave introducing the "new" world to you guys, and once we have somewhere to go with this, then ill start taking cracks at it.

Last edited by Mukade (5/10/09 15:57)


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

Offline

#28 5/10/09 16:21

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Hey, Mukade's dead, Mai ain't tied down.  tongue

Anyway, I kind of feel like the whole world IS the conflict here.  At any time some shit could go down.  Like maybe CI could find them, or they could figure out about some crucial place at which to strike to counter CI, or something.  I also introduced some executive characters likely from CI in one post from whose perspective we could possibly write.

I dunno.  If it stagnates for a while I'll start some direct action up myself I suppose.  smile


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

Offline

#29 5/10/09 16:31

Lithium
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

im too lazy to keep reading  neutral
and um kinda kreepy wat samoko said.

Online

#30 5/10/09 20:27

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Leus wrote:

Hey, Mukade's dead, Mai ain't tied down.  tongue

thats wh i said maybe later...

Leus wrote:

Anyway, I kind of feel like the whole world IS the conflict here.

yeah, but i mean, thats kinda vague, i need plot xD

but yes, i like the new executives u introduced, leaves stuff open


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

Offline

#31 5/10/09 20:31

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

thats wh i said maybe later...

Oh yeah, didn't even notice that lol.

Well, if you want I'll whip somethin' up that'll put the characters into some action.  Not sure what I'd do, but hey, that always tends to end up well in my opinion.  Maybe a bit later, if nobody else has thought of a cool situation to throw at 'em; I kinda feel like I've commandeered the story, but hopefully that won't last.  smile


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

Offline

#32 6/10/09 7:50

Samer
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

I don't like it tongue I'm being honest. Doesn't mean it's not good ^_^ just that I don't like the mukade mai thing tongue it contradicts the first installment ...  I was routing for mai and casey too :\ actually that was what i had in mind as a continuation for the first installment and that's why i was disappointed when casey became mutated tongue


Join our Oni Facebook Group
Check My YouTube Channel for my Oni Videos.
Check My Wiki page for all my stuff

Offline

#33 6/10/09 8:24

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Damnit I should have totally left out the part where she said Mukade was the father, that would have given you guys somewhere to take it.  I was just too attached to the idea that they're lovers.  I have been for a while, and I was trying to subtly transition into that from their original strangely evolving relationship.  Neither of them were supposed to see it coming but both accepted it when it presented itself...  I dunno.  I was just implying in the processor that they kissed/were about to kiss, but I never actually said how much time passed so I came up with the idea for the daughter.  Maybe I took it too far.  But whatevs.  I killed him off to ease his morally conflicted soul, so Casey and Mai could still have a future yet.  They're closer to the same age so it'll be better for her ultimately anyway.  tongue


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

Offline

#34 6/10/09 14:24

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Leus wrote:

I killed him off to ease his morally conflicted soul

and i totally agree with that, i probly woulda done it myself


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

Offline

#35 9/10/09 0:41

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Nice writing Leus so ur getting mai's daughter away?

Offline

#36 9/10/09 14:02

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

so i guess since no1 ELSE wants to write, its up to me to save the thread :-/
fine fine.... Mukade to the rescue


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

Offline

#37 9/10/09 14:34

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Griffen could only stand there, mouth agape. He could not have seen this coming, not a hint. Mukade had been protective of her, yes, but as a father, not as a boyfriend. It took him about a minute to get his jaw working again.

"W..when?"

"It doesn't matter"

She turned to looked at Casey and Mipsy. Mipsy looked confused, but Casey almost looked hurt. Why? Griffen's voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

"This means that she IS a chrysalis, technically. You two were both Imago, which means the chrysalis had intergrated itself completely into your systems which would include reproductive cells."

"And those cells merged, and multiplied."

She stated, finishing Griffen's thought.

"We are symbionts, two entities thriving off each other. But she is a single being. She is.... a new species."

"And her growth," Griffen wondered, "You two were both fully grown. Now her cells are regeneraing and replacing the "missing" ones."

"Speaking metaphorically, this is what comes out of the chrysallis. A butterfly."

Mai smiled at this, and turned to her daughter.

"My little butterfly"

Griffen turned to Mai.

"If the CI ever finds out about this..."

"I know," Mai said softly, "She is but the first, with all the new chrysali we're implanting, there will soon be more. And each one will be taken by the CI to be....experemented on." She said, her voice full of loathing. "They must be stopped. She is the key to the survival of this world. She is the future generation."

"I understand, I will place whats left of my troops, including myself, under your command."

"And I accept your help. But a man with leadership such as yours should not be wasted. I'm sure the high command will accept you among their ranks."

"High command?" inquired Griffin.

"The big-wigs of this operation, which includes myself, Barabas, and a few others."

"I didn't know you were so organized."

"That's a good thing, the less people that know, the better. As far as CI is concerened, we aren't even one organization, but groups of seperate guerilla fighters, rebels."

Just then, Mai's wrist-com bleeped.

"Mai" a deep voice. Barabas, Griffin guessed. "Theres an emergency council meeting in 15. You know the place."

"I'll be right there. And I'm bringing a couple friends."

"Mai..."

"I know I'm breaking protocal, but believe me, this will be a pleasent surprise."

She flipped off her Com.

Mipsy, would you mind staying here with Akemi?

She looked a little uncomfortable, but accepted.

"Shall we go?"


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

Offline

#38 9/10/09 20:16

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

big_smile I'm glad you wrote that.  I dig that you seem to be feelin' the daughter aspect of the story.

Ahh, why did I come to this forum?!  Now between this and my new mod/script I'm workin' on I'm never gonna have time to do schoolwork or chores or work or sleep or rap........   Ok, exaggeration.

Well, I'll try to write the next section as soon as I feel up to it (tired; got a semi-lot to do, but I really dig this story so far and am eager to continue it)...  So, hopefully within a day or two.  But, per usual, as of right now I am NOT claiming the next part.  If anyone else has any good ideas before I claim the next part, please give it a write....  Lol.


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

Offline

#39 10/10/09 12:48

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

yes i really love the daughter idea, it gives us more or less a main conflict, and gives us two distinct sides for the third installation :3

She is also very moldable right now, we don't know what her capabilities are and we can make those up as we go along (within reasonable parameters of course)


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

Offline

#40 10/10/09 20:48

Lithium
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

note to gumby: we might need a joint story section XD

Online

#41 10/10/09 21:21

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

naw, im thinking after no.3 it'll be over, that's the climax of *who wins*

although then again, there WILL be other stories about pasts and maybe even different points of view in the stories we haev now... maybe that isnt such a bad idea :-/

It's jsut too bad you can't make a Sub-Sub Section in Creative Minds

Last edited by Mukade (10/10/09 21:22)


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

Offline

#42 10/10/09 21:49

Iritscen
Moderator

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

If you wanted to preserve your story for posterity beyond this thread, you could always upload it to fanfiction.net or make use of the wiki, which has other fan fiction/story ideas on it.


byproducts are fine, but where's the beef?

Offline

#43 10/10/09 21:59

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Okay, I need a break from Oni scripting, Oni modding, Oni testing and Oni being dissatisfied...

...Time for some Oni writing.  smile

(I got the next part.)


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

Offline

#44 10/10/09 22:09

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

yay!


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

Offline

#45 11/10/09 2:16

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

"So," said Griffin as he, Mai and Casey walked down the hall.  "You're still workin' with Barabas, eh?"

"Hardly," Mai replied.  "Sure, he associates himself with this organization, and he does good work from time to time, but he's way too wrapped up in the whole revenge scene."  She paused.  "It's no longer about doing what's right or making the world a better place...  It's making those who prevented it from being so pay."

Griffin frowned.  "I guess I'm not much better," he replied.  "For the last couple of years I've just been launching a full frontal and futile assault against those bastards..."

"Where did you meet your men, anyway?" Mai inquired.

"Most of them actually were some of the first to get implanted by CI after the environmental collapse," Griffin explained.  "I guess the mind-controlling chip technology they use was an earlier version, and a few of them failed to function before too long.  One by one, the people who now are--or were," he paused, looking mournful, "--members of my crew somehow realized that CI's hold over them was broken.  Of course CI quickly realized this and upgraded their technology, so I haven't met any new help in quite a while..."

"So how did you find them all?" Mai queried.

"Word spread," said Griffin.  "I'm sure CI was aware, but now that they rule the world and all they don't seem to be very concerned by much of anything, really.  I mean I expect that those chips would have been equipped with tracking devices, kill switches...  But nothing has happened to my crew except in direct combat."

"I think CI cares more than they let on," Mai said.  "Maybe they haven't come looking for you or fried your men's brains because the entire chip and all its functions completely ceased.  And to me, that doesn't sound quite like a random system failure..."

"You think something triggered it?" Griffin pressed.

"Seem plausible," Mai said, "and if so, we could determine the trigger and save a lot more people."

"But if there's a way to deactivate the chip," Griffin began, "how come it hasn't been happening more recently?"

"Oh, I'm sure CI upgraded to prevent it, like you said," Mai stated, "but think about all the people still out there with obsolete chips nestled in their brains.  If we figure out what caused your men to cut their strings and ditch the puppeteers, we could find more..."

Griffin sighed.  "It sounds like a good theory, Mai," said Griffin, "but you don't really know what you're talking about."

"I know more than you might expect," Mai countered, pushing open the doors to the meeting all and strolling in.  "And besides, speculation like this is crucial to the work we do here.  We're David up against about a million Goliaths; we need to figure out anything and everything we could possibly use to gain ground on them."

"I like the sound of that," Barabas interjected.  "And whatever you're talking about, it flows nicely into what I'm about to tell you."  He turned and faced the small crowd; there were about twenty people in the room, Griffin determined after a quick scan.  "Now that we're all here," Barabas continued, "Apparently the daodan process has been successfully discovered and adapted by a few medical professionals in India.  They have been implanting wandering maskers and people from Oases with free chrysali."  He paused, glancing from face to face.  "Word has it that CI is actually starting to take notice; it's rumored that one of two of these practitioners have even been killed."  Another pause.  "We've got to get these guys with us.  They could prove invaluable to our cause, of course, but aside from that...  Simply because of the service they provide to the world, we owe it to them to do our best to protect and perpetuate them and their work."

"Well what are we waitin' for?" an enthusiastic and slightly twangy voice came from the crowd.

"We're not," Barabas said.  "Mai, Marlowe, Denton, Cooker and Stone should all come with me to the plane immediately."  Barabas glanced to Mai's side.  "Hey, Griffin.  Long time no see."  He began walking for the door.  "You can come, too."

"What?" said Griffin.  "That's it?"

"I know you well enough to consider you a valuable addition to the team," Barabas replied.

Griffin raised an eyebrow.  "I'm flattered, but," he fumbled over his words, "and shouldn't you be sending some of your crew to do this?  Why send the higher-ups?  The 'council?'"  He made air quotes with his fingers.

"This ain't like your old cushy TCTF Commander job...  The 'higher-ups' get their hands dirty around here," Barabas responded, mimicking the air quotes.  "And anyway, it's not a combat situation; this mission is about diplomacy."

"Then why are YOU goin'?" a sarcastic voice arose from the crowd.  Barabas growled slightly, apparently not amused.

Griffin hesitated.  "Well, alright," he said.  "I'll go.  Gotta do somethin' to get back in action.  Come on, Casey."

"The boy has no place on this mission," Barabas declared.

"What?" Griffin replied, caught off guard.

"He can stay here and get acquainted with the place," Barabas suggested.

"It's okay, dad," Casey said, speaking up for the first time in a while.  "I can look for more of the crew around town while you're gone, too."

Griffin smiled.  "Alright, son," he said in return.  "You take care of yourself, then.  I'll be back before you know it--" he paused, looking to Barabas, "--right?"

"Relax," Barabas assured him.  "Either way, this trip won't be too long.  I give it a max of two days."

Griffin gulped, but followed the large man out of the room and down the hallway along with the others.  The seven strolled out of the base, through the restaurant, down the hall, out the swinging wooden doors and into the streets of Reco.

Barabas led them towards the city limits.  "Where's this plane?" Griffin inquired.

"Just outside the city in our hangar," Barabas replied.

As they drew ever nearer to the edge of the Oasis, Griffin's lungs began to gradually feel more and more the familiar burning sensation.  He sighed painfully.  "Why does CI even allow places like this to exist?" Griffin wondered aloud.  "It's not as if they have any political reason for it; it's well-known that they'll force their will upon anyone.  Why not just stomp you out?"

"You know why," Barabas replied without looking over at the old man.  "The only reason this organization has even made it this far is because CI is so powerful they just don't give a f--"

---

Casey hummed idly to himself.  It had been hours since he'd heard the roar of the jet fade away into the distance carrying with it his father.  Since they're reunited in the BGI lab a couple years ago, Casey and his father had really never been apart.  Casey was not used to this; he had a nagging, almost sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Got any twos?" Edgar prodded.

"Damnit," Casey said, tossing down a card.  Edgar chuckled maniacally and integrated the card into his own hand.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!  A polite knock came from the front door near where the two were playing cards.  Both looked up simultaneously.  Edgar furrowed his brow.  "Weird," he said, "it's always unlocked.  Must be a newbie."  Edgar got up and made his way over to the door.  He opened it to reveal a petite young woman.

"Hello," Hitoshi said, a blank expression on her face.


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

Offline

#46 11/10/09 2:47

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Nice story so far. Sounds awsome. yeah i think posting it on fanfic is gud. Thats where i read 16+ stories of avatar big_smile. I wont be writing for awhile until Friday (or Thursday over there) wish me luck for my exams and keep writin!!!!!!!

Offline

#47 11/10/09 2:48

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Good luck, bro.  smile


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

Offline

#48 14/10/09 19:32

Leus
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Anybody?   big_smile


If we don't change the direction we're going, we'll likely end up where we're headed.

Offline

#49 14/10/09 23:07

Stevinlewis
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

Sorry. I have no time to read the story so far. Maybe when i have time ill do it smile. Whos Hitoshi?

Last edited by Stevinlewis (14/10/09 23:40)

Offline

#50 15/10/09 8:22

Mukade
Member

Re: Oni Joint Story, Second Installment: Punishment

ill do it in a few hours after school hmm


"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

Offline

Board footer