Oni Central Forum

Shade

Member

From: OH, USA

Registered: 06/08/08

Chuck Norris jokes

Share us your Chuck Norris jokes here I don't know any unfortunately XD

adorage

Member

Registered: 04/21/07

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can pause the radio.
I came up with that one yesterday but maybe it existed before then, I can never remember the ones I read.

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love_Oni

Member

From: Da Nang, Vietnam

Registered: 05/10/08

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

There are many here.

Some of these jokes are not in that list. Just collect it: 

1) If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2) There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3) Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4) Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills.... They made him blink
5) With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit
6) Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
7) Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
8) Chuck Norris kill him 11 times before his body touch the floor, and then he killed again.
9) The reason people disappear in the Bermuda triangle is because chuck Norris is there.
10) Chuck Norris "pulse" is measured by a richterscale.

Last edited by love_Oni (09/09/09 10:09)

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The Boy Who Knew Too Much

myplea1

Member

From: Ottawa,Canada

Registered: 05/25/09

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris died 10 years ago but death is still too scared too tell him.

Last edited by myplea1 (09/09/09 15:09)

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Awol

adorage

Member

Registered: 04/21/07

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

btw, I've read numerous times that Auron from Final Fantasy X ist Chuck Norris' father but I'm not sure if that's true.

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You're all like... like big fat failure turtles!

Ether

Member

From: Czech Republic

Registered: 05/26/07

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can talk in Braille.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can outrun his own shadow.

Lithium

Member

From: Colorado

Registered: 10/17/08

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

love_oni hates chuck norris btw
chuck norris counted to infinity...twice
chuck norris can run so fast and punch himself in the back
superman wears chuck norris pajamas
chuck norris doesnt need a watch, he decides wat time it is
the boogeyman checks his closet for chuck norris
"Im gone a month and this happens" -Gumby

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3llense'g

Member

From: Europe, Hungary, Budapest

Registered: 07/05/09

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

What we need are some Gumby facts! 

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demos_kratos

Member

From: Russia, Volzhskiy

Registered: 08/13/08

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Linus Torvalds can do it too. (there are rumors that Steve Jobs can divide by zero)

GTA devs wanted to add seventh star. it could mean chuck norris' departure. but Game rating would become 25+. so they didn't.
When Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer will meet each oth--BOOM!--

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Lithium

Member

From: Colorado

Registered: 10/17/08

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

1- Gumby hates ancient memes
2- gumby calls memes ancient memes
3- he considered weegee an anicent meme
4-weegee is a youtube poop
5- hell probably be angry at us

Last edited by Lithium (09/10/09 16:09)

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Esruku

Member

From: At my computer

Registered: 09/07/09

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

Jesus walked on water, chuck noris swam through land
This is like my favorite chuck noris facts,

Mortifer

Member

Registered: 04/01/09

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

1- Gumby hates ancient memes
2- gumby calls memes ancient memes
3- he considered weegee an anicent meme
4-weegee is a youtube poop
5- hell probably be angry at us

Ah, to be younger
Enjoying repetition
Of meaningless jokes

Last edited by Mortifer (09/11/09 13:09)

Lithium

Member

From: Colorado

Registered: 10/17/08

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

So um gow do you feel being away and then returninbg to a full chuck norris topic?

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Shade

Member

From: OH, USA

Registered: 06/08/08

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

So um gow do you feel being away and then returninbg to a full chuck norris topic?

That's how noobs are these days oxe161, They find something to complain about a topic that a member posted who's been here longer than they have to make complaints about it. Seriously people have no life's.

Last edited by Shade (09/20/09 21:09)

Lithium

Member

From: Colorado

Registered: 10/17/08

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

I meant how does Gumby feel now that hes returned and instead of finding a tidy sto-i mean forum he finds chuck norris discussion

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Mukade

Member

From: Ottawa, Ontario - Canada

Registered: 05/29/07

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

LOL! i just read the 101 Chuck Norris facts, i nearly died laughing xD

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"He looks mean enough to tear my arm off and beat me to death with it. In fact, he looks mean enough to tear his OWN arm off and beat me to death with it."

AdamBast

Member

From: Hungary

Registered: 01/12/08

Re: Chuck Norris jokes

Jesus walked on water, chuck noris swam through land
This is like my favorite chuck noris facts,

Another version is:
Jesus walked on water, Chuck Norris walked on Jesus.

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