Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

Samer · 09/24/09 20:09

lol yes i saw it and loved it ! ... just didn't want to spoil u

Kyari huh would by any chance she be telekinetic ?

Last edited by Samer (09/24/09 20:09)

Lithium · 09/24/09 20:09

sweet u guys made up to 6 pages w00t!

EdT · 09/24/09 20:09

This story is getting better and better!

Lithium · 09/24/09 21:09

LOL this is pretty musch watching a show and waiting for things to happen

(damn the other guy and getting me -13)
Hmm i wonder if we could put it into one mega story and sell it?...well it might not work cuz we dont have righrs...

Leus · 09/24/09 21:09

Oh rofl, I forgot I totally already used that name in the RPG. It's just one of the standard girl names I pick for some reason.

Maybe she is telekinetic, though. Who knows?

Edit: Who's got next?

Edit 2: Also thanks EdT and oxe. I keep meaning to say that. Glad you're enjoying it.

Last edited by Leus (09/24/09 22:09)

Mukade · 09/24/09 22:09

oh i check it all the time umm.. ill probly end up writing the next one, but it wont be until late tomorrow, so someone else can feel free to claim it

I was thinking the same thing, but we wouldnt need to rights really, we would just have to ask permission from TakeTwo i assume, although i don't know what that entails, nieve little school boy that i am :3

But yeah, im just too lazy/busy to copying all the different posts into one file, because then i would have to edit stuff, I would feel compelled to correct some lazy grammar (im looking at you samoko ^_^) and adding/removing things to make it flow better, when its over i will probably get around to it but yeah

Oh, and am i supposed to assume that Dr. Hasagawa has some sort of relationship with Kyari or that he just is concerned for her health :-/

Last edited by Mukade (09/24/09 22:09)

Leus · 09/25/09 00:09

I already have one file of all the parts so far, don't worry.

Edit: And it's up to you to decide what that means. I was personally thinking that he was just confused, looking for Mai and saw a girl and instinctively reacted, but I didn't want that to necessarily be the case. I left it intentionally open-ended.

Last edited by Leus (09/25/09 00:09)

Stevinlewis · 09/25/09 01:09

lets see how much Karma i got...

EDIT: OMFG -3!?!?!!? K fine ill be a better person . BTW how do i up my Karma?

To Iritscen: Nxt time if u wana edit my post ask me to edit it first u can trust me -.-. I only did that so that it wont be so boring.

If no1 is gonna do it ill do it!

Last edited by Stevinlewis (09/25/09 02:09)

Stevinlewis · 09/25/09 02:09

May I do the next 1 since u all said u wrote too much

Stevinlewis · 09/25/09 02:09

Sorry guys i cant write this part. Too much things i forgot. This has to be done by someone else. i forgot 1)Mai's dad name 2)Where and why Mai's dad was there and alot more im still messed up! Sorry

Iritscen · 09/25/09 08:09

Well, no one controls your karma according to a set of rules, it's up to the community, so "be a good person" and people will naturally want to plus your posts. EdT's probably got the highest karma, and that's because he answers others' questions so diligently. The guys writing in this thread have high karma because they are being productive in working on a project together and enjoy reading each others' posts.

A good way to get negative karma, on the other hand, is to make three consecutive posts in half an hour. You really need to think ahead before posting, so you don't do things like saying "I'll do it", then "Never mind" just a few minutes later. And use the flipping Edit button to modify an earlier post instead of making a bunch in a row. Trust me, it will make you seem more mature if you follow this advice.

demos_kratos · 09/25/09 10:09

whoa! I let myself to not look at this thread for awhile and you guys have already done a pretty big and good job. Sorry, I've no talent or passion to write anything near to literature. But I'm intrigued and looking foward to read more of these. Thank you guys.

Leus · 09/25/09 10:09

Thank YOU, man. I'll do my best to keep this goin' strong, I'm sure the others will too.

Samer · 09/25/09 10:09

Leus, has mukade claimed the next part ? or can i write it ?

thanks for reading guys & sorry about my, as mukade put it "lazy grammar mistakes"
I thought I always correct them in when i edit

btw I don't get the oxe issue, is the guy schizophrenic or are there 2 of them ?

Leus · 09/25/09 11:09

Go for it, Samoko.

Edit: He said he wouldn't be able to write it for a little while so someone else should feel free to claim it for the time being, so have at it.

Last edited by Leus (09/25/09 11:09)

demos_kratos · 09/25/09 11:09

is the guy schizophrenic or are there 2 of them?

*ROFL* phew... "schizophrenic"... that does it. yeah there are two of 'em posting from one account. One of them, his name is Alan iirc, has got really bad reputation here for killing threads and spamming no offence, dude.

2oxe's
Try to Identify yourselves... it becomes hard to tell you apart. just write "It's oxe1 posting" and "It's oxe2 posting" in the begining of each post. that will become a little easier.

Last edited by demos_kratos (09/25/09 11:09)

Gumby · 09/25/09 11:09

demos_kratos wrote:

2oxe's
Try to Identify yourselves... it becomes hard to tell you apart. just write "It's oxe1 posting" and "It's oxe2 posting" in the begining of each post. that will become a little easier.

They should have split into seperate accounts by now...

Samer · 09/25/09 11:09

ok m writing the next part, i was writing it then had to stop and say i'm writing it

Leus · 09/25/09 12:09

Hahaha good call. I'm stoked to read it.

Samer · 09/25/09 12:09

"Where..." he began, then saw the frail and bleeding girl on the ground. He hurriedly hobbled to her side and dropped to his knee.

"Mai ? is that u " he said lifting the girl's chin ... as her wound healed within seconds

"Mai stood still hiding behind the metallic mask ... here was her father who has been gone for years ... a few feet away from her ...and she couldn't find anything to say ...

"Mai ..." mukade nudged her ...

"I'm right here ... dad ... " she finally said ...

he stood and faced her with a blank expression on his face ... let me see u

"I can't ... the air ... " she replied

"activate toxin remover ... " he said talking to the room which lit up and a loud suction voice was heard ...

"now ? ..." he continued

Mai hesitated a million thoughts rushing in her mind ... then finally took the helmet
off ... revealing her big green eyes glittering with tears ...

"Finally !" he sighed as tears ran on his cheeks and came close to hug her ... "u have ur mother's eyes" he whispered to her ear

Mai who didn't return the hug ... just stood there baffled ... "where have u been ? all these years " she finally said

"I have been in hiding ... I ... there's so much to tell "

" there are a lot of things i already know" she said " I know that mom passed away when u went to the restricted zone, i found the data in the restricted files in the regional state building ... I know that you and Kerr worked on the chrysallis ... that the syndicate kidnapped u and muro ... while kerr took me to the tctf "

"then u already know more than me ... I never knew what happened to u or to Kerr after i was kidnapped ... where is ur uncle now?"

"he .. he's dead I'm afraid" Mai said avoiding eye contact

a minute or 2 passed before her father said : "he shouldn't have gone to them ... it would have been safer if ... " he cut himself off looking at one person in particular his expression rapidly changed to wrath ... "YOU !!" he yelled at Griffin ...

"no James ... wait !" Griffin said holding his arms up for protection as Dr. Hasegawa pounced on him ...

"no dad stop !!" mai said trying to separate the 2 men

" u know who that guy is ???" her dad said still trying to take a punch at Griffin ...

"explain .. dad" she replied giving a doubtful look at griffin

after the syndicate took me ... i was forced to continue developing the chrysallis ... and to be honest after Jamie's death ... my only focus was to develop the chysallis ... I knew they would misuse it somewhere along the way ... but I didn't care ... I knew developing it was the only way to save lives ...
The BGI funded our research and provided me with all the technology i needed ... little did i know that they tried to mimic my prototype ... manufacturing 2 prototypes of their own ... they didn't perfect it though they planted one in one of the syndicate strikers ... the BGI was running out of patience ... they started being less friendly ... "

Barabus interrupted ... "one of the syndicate strikers ? ... what happened to him ? "

"I don't know got mutated or something ... " Mai's dad replied

"or something ... u're looking at him doctor" Barabus said angrily

"I'm sorry it wasn't my choice !" ...

"it wasn't ur choice ? I was a field rat ??" Barabus said punching the wall

"Barabus .. please !" mai said " what's done is done ... there's no point in pointing blame now ... people change u know that more than anyone "

"u said they manufactured 2 prototypes ... dr " mukade interrupted

"yes ... i don't know what happened to the second one .. do i know u ? u look rather familiar "

"look closer doc ... remember ur third colleague, the third wheel of ur little gang ? that u and kerr always mocked and said his research is no good ?? "

"mukade !" James said with his jaw opened wide

"hello there buddy ... " mukade replied sarcastically

"what happened to u ?"

"u know old story ... BGI didn't like my research it threatened their greater plan ... they kidnapped me ... planted the second prototype in me ... i went crazy and all serial killer .. u know same old same old ... while u slept comfortably in ur little vessel"

"Guys ... please stop " ... "let's just hear what he has to say ... continue dad " Mai said

"this is a lot to swallow ... the BGI wanted me to test my chrysallis ... i knew i may not be able to manufacture a new one ... and i had to keep muro safe ... so i planted it in him ... i was already sure it will work ... and it did ... physically at least ... but muro ... he started to change to become bitter and angry all the time ... he took great interest in the syndicate ... he was changing and I couldn't do anything to stop it .. all i could do was stay close to him and try to keep him safe .. from himself most of all ... "

"and then ? .. " mai said

"and then a point came when i could no longer stand and watch helplessly as my son turned into a cold hearted man ... i had to leave ... it was the hardest thing I've ever done .. to let go ... " he chocked up saying this and his eyes got teary .. "Mai what happened to ur brother ? .. he said looking directly at her eyes ... "

"he ... he ... " she couldn't bare herself telling him his son was dead ...

"can u continue the story doctor and ask about ur whole extended family later ? " ... mukade said interrupting and saving mai from the thorny question ...

"very well ... I fled the syndicate .. barley making it alive ... i wasn't even sure where to find u ... if u had survived the attack or not ... i came out looking for u .. but instead I found the government against me ... they accused me of murdering Jamie and fleeing trail ... they just wanted to cover up what really happened in the restricted zone ... I was wanted by the TCTF he said pointing at Griffin ...

"I was following higher orders ... The BGI had my son ... The government wanted to cover up I had to declare u wanted by the TCTF ! "

"U KNEW HE WAS ALIVE ? and pretended there's nothing !! " Mai yelled

"no mai .. no i thought the syndicate killed him already ... i thought it would make no difference if i declared him wanted because i thought he's already gone ... " Griffin replied with his eyes to the ground

"well i wasn't .. i was searching for my daughter ... but i couldn't stay ! being chased by the TCTF the BGI and the Syndicate i had no where to turn to ... instead i had to flee here and hide all these years keeping myself in a suspended life state hoping that one day she might find me ... "

"U're such a liar Griffin .. u're such a liar ... " she said as she hugged her dad crying ...

Last edited by Samer (09/25/09 13:09)

Leus · 09/25/09 12:09

I dig the exposition. I'mma wait a bit and see if Mukade wants to take the next part.

Lithium · 09/25/09 15:09

Well u three are smart. but yes time for mukade to shine? or how bout u alternate like: Leus, then Samoko then Mukade?

Mukade · 09/25/09 18:09

I'm here to save the day!!]

gah! im blank right now... give me a few minutes

Last edited by Mukade (09/25/09 18:09)

Stevinlewis · 09/25/09 18:09

so Mai's dad name is James?

Samer · 09/25/09 18:09

please do mukade !!

Stevin mm i came up with that name they never mentioned it in the game (as far as i know of) .. they mentioned her mom's name Jamie ... so i thought James goes with Jamie

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Re: Oni Joint Story, First Installment: Salvation

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